My hair stylist is adding a “Menopause-Clause”…

Went to get my hair cut and colored today (Wednesday). I was itching for something different. Something new and amazing… like a new head.  I plopped in the chair and Chris (my stylist and the owner of the salon…he lets me call him Chris )started as he always does…”lets talk about you hair..”

“Well, here’s the thing,” I jumped right in. “I’m having a really ugly month and I’m gonna need for you to fix that for me.”

He froze. Staring at me in the mirror, fingertips on top of my head.  I went on…”I don’t want to freak you out but I’m in peri-menopause and I’m in quite a mood today. Everything.  And I do mean everything on my body is going straight to hell. I’ve not felt this ugly since I was 12. I don’t have a plastic surgeon or a therapist. All I have is you. And today I need you.  Today I need to leave here feeling better.”

Silence. Pregnant pause. Heavy sigh…

“Crap.” Is kinda what he said.

We talked  a little more about what I had in mind. I tried to describe how drastic I wanted to go. After about 3 minutes of  me describing, with scissors poised ready to snip, he said; “So what you’re saying is that you want it trimmed to the scalp till you bleed? I’m not doing it.”

“Hummmm, okay.” I rolled my eyes mimicking  the pre-teen I felt like. “Just go ahead and do whatever you want.”

And he did. Trim a little, snip a little more, some texture here and there …whatever. It was a nice change but not  drastic at all.He took an hour (maybe a little less) to blow out, smooth out and straighten my frizzy hair. When he was done he sighed about the same time I did…

I was gazing at my not so bad hair in the mirror thinking…The man totally gets me.  He’s my hair soul mate. I will never break up with him. NOT EVER!

I opened my mouth to tell him these things when  his arm fell to his side, he cocked his head a little and said:

“After today I think I’m adding a menopause-clause to my pricing sheet. If  a woman is anywhere near menopause, I’m charging double.”

Eeeek.

Now, he smiled when he said it but I fear I’m putting way too much pressure on the poor man.

As I was  leaving, I wondered if it’s legal for a him to break up with me?  Remember, we’ve talked about this before. I’ve always been the one to break it off  with my stylists. I’ve used them like a flavor of the month and left them without so much as a ‘Dear-John’ letter.  Surely he wouldn’t dare…the thought  unnerved me.

Before I push him right over the edge I may have to add to my support system Peeps.   I can’t after all expect a single stylist, no matter how perfect he is for me,  to keep my delicate ego intact.

So what do ya think? Should I go with the plastic surgeon or the therapist???

Tagged as: hair, humor, menopause, stylist