The older I get, the more funerals I attend. Funerals are a pause in the cadence of life. Time stands still for a few moments. A funeral marks the time when family and friends step fully onto the unavoidable path set before them. And so starts the journey through grief. Until I lost someone close I didn’t realize how necessary this ritual, the funeral, really is to those who are grieving. Until then, I hated going to funerals. Felt anxious that the business of “life” was interrupted and I was forced to think of my own mortality. Not any more. I know now that funerals matter. They matter to those left on this side of eternity. They are an opportunity to show love and empathy to someone who’s hurting.
My baby sister, Debra will sing at the grave-side service today. Her husband, Dean, who I love like my own flesh and blood, will accompany Deb on the guitar. When we asked them, this is what Debra said…
“I’m so honored that you asked. We would rather sing at a funeral than a wedding. At a wedding there’s an element of performance. At a funeral you have the opportunity to minister to people who are hurting.” That about sums up my feelings on funerals…
Here is Daddy’s obituary from the Atlanta Journal…
Family-Placed Death Notice
GAY, Henry, Jr. HENRY G. GAY JR. Henry G. Gay Jr., age 85, of Austell, died October 26, 2009. A WWII Vet of the Navy Submarines Corps, he retired from Norfolk Southern Railroad after 42 years of service. A member of Southern Baptist lay witness revival team, he was a member of Mableton First Baptist Church. Preceded in death by his daughter, Sharon Gentry, survivors include his wife, Jeanette Singleton Gay; sons, Robert E. Gay of Euharlee and Michael H. Gay of Woodstock; brother, William S. Gay of Austell; 9 grandchildren and 9 great-grandchildren. A graveside service will be held at 1:00p.m. on Wednesday at the Historic Westview Cemetery with Revs. Stephen Byrd, Barry Barrett, and Larry Kendrick officiating. In lieu of flowers donations may be made to the Alzheimer’s Association .
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Debra’s words–so poignant. Sounds like Mike’s father was both an officer and such a gentleman. Much love to you all today (and grateful the rain stopped).
Love to you on this day Robin. Dangerous prayer said for you today.
bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..Professional Pastors
Julie, that about sums it up, an officer and a gentleman…..
Christlike officer and gentleman. I see many of the same
qualities in my son-in-law. God is good!
Praying for his wife a special out-pouring of God’s Grace and Peace. For the family…I’m praying for the sweetest feeling of God’s tender care. Psalm 139.
Deborah´s last blog ..A Challenge
Thinking of you today. What a beautifully written tribute to an honorable and loved man. I am sure he will be dearly missed. Such a loving gesture on your sister’s part as well as her husband. Your wisdom today will stay with me a lifetime.
Wishing you peace and comfort!
Vicky´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
What a lovely obituary, if they can be lovely..He was certainly a fine man and a well loved man..I hope you have a loving, family day remembering this fine man. God’s blessings to you all…
Barb Boyack´s last blog ..HEADS UP! IT’S A GIVEAWAY…
Funerals are hard. And you are right they are the type of thing that we stop for and it is good. We need to stop and think. Sorry your family is having to deal with the loss of a loved one.
Hugs, Lisa
Lisa´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Memi!!
You hit the nail on the head, we never realize how much WE need funerals till someone CLOSE dies. It is all for us, to give us time to grieve, say goodbye and begin to come to terms with our loss. Thanks for posting the obituary, it helps to see a face and know who I ma praying for. Much love, Pinky
Oh, Dear One. This was a post most of us should read. Funerals are a part of our lives. The words of your sister are precious!
You’ll be in my prayers.
Blessings,
Shelia
Shelia´s last blog ..No Spooky At My House…
I agree with Deb… when you can sing and look into the eyes of the grieving, it’s almost like the rest of the congregation isn’t there. Music relays what simple words can’t. I also fully agree about the ritual. I couldn’t go to my aunt’s funeral last December, or a funeral this summer of a close family friend. I had them video tape my aunt’s funeral and it meant so much to me. It made it real, made me less disconnected from the reality. There’s a level of acceptance that is missing without it, I think.
Have been thinking of all of you today and pray you found peace in the midst of it all. Thanks for posting the obituary so we could get to know him, too.
gitz´s last blog ..Crazy Love: Your Best Life. . . Later
I also sing- and your sister’s response is what I have said MANY times before- word for word! It gave me goosebumps. It is so true.
sherri´s last blog ..Friends in High Places
Ecclesiastes 7:1A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. When you spoke of your father in law this scripture came to mind it is so moving how fine of a man he was.
I look at funerals as a celebration of ones life and their wonderful legacy is a gift they leaves behind to family.
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss but happy too that you were able to have a wonderful and loving person as this in your life whos legacy will live on and infulence your familys next generations.
How very wonderful to have such a inspirational person in ones life.