Waiting to speak
The other day I told my dad about a little storm going on in my life.
He was very quiet and then he said:
“I’m going to wait before I say anything. I need to process. And to pray.
I think he is so wise. At a hundred-and -two (or how ever old I am) I still haven’t learned the discipline of waiting before I speak.
My thoughts are chaotic and if not controlled, shoot fast and furious right out of my mouth spewing that chaos everywhere.
I need to practice the discipline of waiting.
But for me that’s not the end of the discipline, if I’m only waiting, my mind is usually in over-drive firing worrisome thoughts at a furious pace.
So I also need to practice processing while I’m waiting.
Again though, for me, processing a situation, turning it over and examining it from every angle, can breed more worry. More fear. More chaos.
So while I’m waiting to speak…
While I’m processing…
I must pray.
Bringing the chaos to the One who is Peace.
*******
I love my dad.
After all these years, I learn so much from him.
*******
How do you guys process life changes? I love hearing what works for you…
xoxo
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Mr. Roberts is a very wise man. I have learned great wisdom from you both. The pause before I speak is getting a little better, but it is still just a pause. In the past, it has been very difficult for me to see the other point of view and possibilities and I have made judgments based on my too quick analysis of a situation. Delaying gratification or delaying speaking have never been my strong suit. I am truly asking God to help me see the true picture that He sees to get His eternal perspective, which is usually completely different than my understanding of the situation.
Robin: some good thoughts here. As a pastor/leader I have often been criticized for my lack of action on something. “You should have made a decision and acted immediately.” Well, that is all well and good for some. But not for me. In some cases, I do make those types of decisions. But in many cases, I have to have some time to process and think through what I need to do/say. As a young pastor i was prone to spouting off too quickly. I now feel that with maturity has come some patience and a desire not to feel like I have to have all the answers…quickly or at all. I admire your father’s wisdom and acting on it. I pray I will continue to grow in grace and wisdom as I age. I should already be some of the way there since I am 57.
You both sound wise and well-grounded. For me, processing an event always depends on the circumstances. When in the work environment, sometimes I’m so busy that the circumstances help in holding my tongue! Being overwhelmed can have its blessings!! Generally I practice “sleeping” on my issues. For me it has always helped me to slow down, get a good night’s sleep, pray and then respond. It doesn’t take away the problems but sometimes it helps me realize that what initially seemed difficult, doesn’t seem so bad the next day.
Time is a healer, a maker of friends.
Great example from your dad I need to take to heart. I oh so need to take this lesson to heart and learn and wait before I speak. Kneel, write in the sand and make sure the word is from the Spirit and not me.
Bless you.
I am the worlds worst at speaking before I think. It is my greatest fault (one of them anyway) and the one that gets me in the most trouble. Always has. I’ve eaten more crow and choked on my on foot more times than I can count. I have gotten better but better is not saying much.
Great advice from your Dad.
Mom says, “You can’t misquote silence.” Speaking quickly can feel so good, but usually the right thing to do is rarely the easy thing.
Good post!
I love that Julie…you can’t misquote silence…brilliant.
One of my husband’s favorite quotes is: Better to be silent and thought the foll than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”……I have a HARD time with this, as I tend to spout out my opinion right away, but in Al-Anon I am learning to NOT react to every situation. And to pray and LISTEN for an answer. I can not sleep on it as I lie awake all night:):) Your Father is a very wise man. I wish I had learned this lesson YEARS ago. God bless you, Robin in whatever storm is passing through right now. XOXO, Pinky
whoops, meant to type FOOL!!! Sorry!
Hey sweet friend. I am doing Beth Moore’s bible study “Breaking Free” and one of the comments she made recently was really powerful. She said we have to make it through our moments before we can make to our milestones. I know I need help in my “moments”. Love you.
I love this post and read it aloud to my husband this morning. I like the word “processing” for what it is you are attempting to do. It isn’t merely the act of keeping a silence. It’s so much more. I will share the word, if you don’t mind.
I, too, am on a current silent journey brought about by conviction. I have found such a power in the silent reflection, meditation, prayer, and pondering. It is really SO FREEING to have the power to withhold response or opinion.
BTW, I consistantly enjoy your blog.
Thank the Lord we have two ears but only one mouth! So often I have had one mouth too many, I’m so sad to say. Why do we feel like we should always have something to say? Very rarely have those first words that popped in my head been the things I “should” say! Praying for you daily! And I agree with your assesment, you do have a wise Dad, and I love him too!
oh robin,
i really needed this..
it’s like you are speaking to me and about me….so often.
i adore what your dad said…so WISE… and inspiring.
why is it.. i so often forget my first action should be prayer? hmmmm…
thank you again… wonderful share and the image is AMAZING…
xxo, kim
.-= Kim Klassen´s last blog ..saturday…continued =-.
This is a long lesson for me. I have eaten enough crowpie to feed an army and I could make a cookbook. There are several reason or excuses for this bad habit..none of which are justifiable. Suffice it to say I am a work in progress..
Thinking before speaking .. or not speaking at all is a “life goal” for me…I hope I score..
Hey sweet friend. I am doing Beth Moore’s Bible Study “Breaking Free” and in one of the sessions she said that we have to make it through our moments to make it to our milestones. So I will be praying that God helps us do just that. Love you so much.
I react. I jump. I act before I think. I usually make a mess.
Tell your wise Dad that he just taught a girl from Texas something today, too.
Thanks Robin, you are just a daily inspiration for me.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Blog Ironies: Speaking of Jigsaws… =-.
Yeah for your dad. A wise man!
Some people need to speak to process, too… and if that’s the case it’s good to have someone safe to process with before speaking to the one it’s about. My friend Susie is that way; if she mulls it over in her head, it can get jumbled. If we talk it through, she can process.
If you ever need to process for perspective, I’m here.
.-= gitz´s last blog ..Who Are You? =-.
I’m praying for you, Robin. I don’t know what your particular need is right now, but God does and He will provide.