Do you read blogs where the writer never seems to struggle with anything?
I would love to be one of those writers. Unfortunately, when I struggle I need to write about it.
It’s one of those seasons in my life…
I won’t blame you if you run outta here. Hugs and smooches…please come back soon…
But if you stayed…this is nothing you haven’t heard me say before, I’m at war with sugar.
I have an emotional and physical connection with sugar that’s turned ugly. Sugary treats say: “I love you” to me. They make my heart rate slow when I’m upset. They set things right when everything feels out of control. I feel somewhat invincible when there’s sugar in my day. Here’s how this plays out…
Tell me something sad that you’re going through and I’ll pull out a bag of chocolate chips. I’ll weep into my cookie batter and process your issue as I measure out a cup of brown sugar and mix in the eggs. By the time I pull the just-done cookies from the oven I’ll have some comfort to give. Sit with me, plate of warm, crispy on the edges, chocolate chip cookies between us and I promise, somehow we’ll figure out a solution to your ‘something sad’.
I swear…that’s how I’ve always looked at a plate of cookies.
To complicate my twisted way of thinking, I started reading blogs about 5 years ago. Skipping from one blog home to another, I visited with men and women who baked my troubles away. When I started All Things Heart and Home, I had the perfect excuse to do all the time, what I loved doing. Bake…bake…bake.
In the past, some of you asked me questions like: “Do you eat all those things you bake?” (Yes. I ate lots of every single thing I baked) “How do you bake all the time and stay thin?” (Truth is that I gained 10lbs. the first year I started blogging, but soon after the sugar took a toll and my undiagnosed Celiac Disease caused weight loss because my poor body wasn’t processing the food I ate. Great huh? Except I was also not absorbing any nutrients which left me with thinning hair, almost no eyelashes on one eye, Osteopenia, inflamed joints, constant pain in my gut… quite the pickle by the time I found out)
I have to be honest with you, even when I’d rather smile and tell you I have everything under control, one thing you can count on from me is that I’m compelled to tell you the ugly truth. So here it is…
Since I started blogging/baking my health has gone downnnnnnn-hill.
Whew…there it’s out in the open. I’m sorry, but I feel ever so much better now. I so wanted to be one of those cooks who could bake every day and nibble a bite here and a bite there and still button my pants.
But I’m weak. I’m a lover of sugar. I’m an addict.
Which is the reason I’ve been investigating sugar alternatives.
I wanted them to work for me. I wanted palm sugar to be my answer to refined white sugar…to be able to bake my rear-end off using agave and honey…but I found out (sadly) fructose is fructose and to put it simply: fructose is bad for my body.
And the more I researched the more I came across information about the unfortunate effects of sugar on the body.
(I’m not going to preach but if you want a bit more information THIS article in the NYTimes is a good starting point)
In the past 9 months I’ve been diagnosed with Celiac Disease and Sjorgen’s Syndrome, both autoimmune issues, and while I knew it was time to start making healthier choices, I’m terrified to go cold turkey off of sugar.
A couple of weeks ago my sweet friend Jenn who knows about my struggle sent me a link to Sarah Wilson’s website. Sarah is a journalist from Australia who wrote an ebook: I Quit Sugar I expected it to be similar to other plans I’d seen…cold turkey. But Sarah’s plan is a kinder, gentler approach to letting go of addictive sugar.
She suggests you start with the attitude that you’ll just try it. Do the 8 week plan and then reevaluate, don’t commit to a lifetime without sugar. The first week is: Cut Back – not give it all up cold turkey…but cut back. Okay, I can do that. (See what I mean, kinder and gentler, which after coming off of gluten and lactose cold turkey…well, I need a kinder,gentler approach to giving up something I love)
So I’ve started Sarah’s 8 week plan. My friends who are sugar-lovers don’t be mad…I have to do this.
I’d like to keep you informed on how this goes…do you mind listening a little here and there?
And to those of you who stayed with me to the end of this post…thank you for letting me get this off my chest.
love love love to you~
(PS…those of you with Celiac Disease or Gluten Intorerance might like this article Sarah just wrote in answer to a question she was asked in a interview:
it’s the best piece I’ve read in answer to that snarky question so many of us have been asked…)