Finding peace in the land of: out-of-control

Control.

The opposite of letting go.

When my life is in “control” I have this illusion of peace, which is convenient because that’s how I like life to be…peaceful, even if it’s just an illusion.

 I’m amazed at how far I’ll go to hang on to that illusion, trying with all the tricks I have up my sleeve to fix a situation. To “fix” my body. To “fix” someone else.

All because I want control.

How arrogant.

In the past few weeks God has graciously arranged one thing after another over which I have no control. I would throw my head back and laugh hysterically at the clarity of it all if it wasn’t me learning the lesson.

There have been several situations that were out of my hands from the beginning. And then there were a few things caused by my own stupidity or my own sin. Whatever the cause, when it was all said and done, I found myself in exactly the same place…out of control.

Apparently this is where God wants me hanging out right now.

My sweet friend Vicky is in a monumental battle with breast cancer. She’s teaching me so many things as she shares her journey on her blog: Westra World. This week she said this when talking about her new treatment:

“I am neither happy, nor sad about the whole thing. It just is.”

Her words sang soft in me yesterday, answering unspoken questions.

I can only say them truthfully when I stop trying to figure out my next move. When I quit trying to manipulate someone or something to fit into my agenda.

When I cease striving and allow myself to…

just ‘be’.

Today my friends, I’m resting in the land of ‘out- of-control’ and praying prayers for peace over my life and over each of you…

Comments

  1. I can relate to out of control. We may be in that state at times – but God never it is. And there – I can rest! And it keeps us turning to the Father doesn’t it….when we cannot rely on ourselves. – And that’s where He wants us – leaning purely on Him. Thanks for a sweet, honest post.

  2. Julie Garmon says:

    I totally love this post. Right now, I’m so with you. Thank you. I needed it.

  3. I am with you. God has shown me that now matter how far I travel, it always comes to how powerless I am. In recovery step one is to admit we are powerless over whatever it is that makes our lives unmanageable. Yes, LORD I am powerless in ALL things and I have come to believe that only You can restore me to “sanity” Sanity is resting with Him “out of my control” but trusting and relying in His. His “control” has also proven to be much more joyful and peaceful. Thanks, Robin

  4. Oh sweet friend, I too struggle with that desire of wanting to grip tight and hold fast, when surrender beckons on a daily basis. I think the awareness of that struggle becomes a stepping stone to surrender. And I step and I step again. Thank you for illustrating so poignantly the need to remember to rely on Him. I love you!

  5. As Tom said, step one tells us that we are powerless over OTHER(s), things. But we can change ourselves. Right now we ahve lost control here, since our daughter, SIL and 2 dogs have moved in. It is very hard on Mr. S. He is finding it difficult. I am TRYING to go with the flow. It could be a LONNNNNNNNG 6 months:):) XO, Pinky

  6. I’m sorry about your friend. Her comment sounds like an acceptance of what God is allowing in her life and a place of contentment. I love this quote I read once, “In acceptance lieth peace.” God is in control and therein lies the peace. :)

  7. Just finished reading Brennan Manning’s Ruthless Trust. His premise is that we’re only really trusting when we are fully present in now, not worrying about tomorrow or grieving yesterday. All that to say this, your post is very timely for me.

  8. I love nothing more than feeling like I have control over my life and everything in order. I am also in a trying season where God has taken away all control/order I believed I had and in place offered himself. 4 weeks ago my toddler broke his femur which lead to 28 hours in the hospital and him in a body cast, all two weeks before my scheduled C-section. Yes, our lives have been anything but peaceful and yet we have found great strength and comfort in Christ. Definetly learning. I will be praying for you through your time of growing and letting God have control!,

  9. Julie says:

    I am hanging the just be land-just be quiet-still and know that I am God-I learned the hard way that I was never in control it was my silly illusion sometimes just be is the perfect place

  10. I’m right there with you in the land of the out-of-control, Robin! Fabulous post. Someone I love is losing her house right now after struggling to keep it for several years. The other day I said to her, “It’s so rotten, so unfair.” She replied very calmly, “It is what it is.” Those are the same words my therapist and I used to repeat like a mantra when my whole life fell apart a few years ago. It is what it is. Letting go a little control can lead to amazing discoveries. Thanks for this post, my friend. xo

  11. Oh, Robin. I am with you, too.

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