Fighting Flames of Ungrace


That’s what Phillip Yancey calls living outside of God’s extravagant gift of love. I realized the other day that ungrace was burning nearly out of control in me.  My Aunt Gail and I were chatting on the phone and she asked a simple question,

“So, how are you?”

“I’m feeling overwhelmed and to be honest… guilty.”

She let me talk through the guilty, “I can’t get everything unpacked or painted or put in place since the move.  And I’m letting the girls down, I haven’t helped them with the babies in weeks. I just don’t have the energy to do what has to be done. I should be  doing more at the old house and finishing the upstairs at the new house. But I’m feeling paralyzed.”

Then grace-words flowed from her and for a moment, those flames of ungrace were extinguished.

How long, I wondered, had ungrace in the form of guilt been burning up the joy in me? A week? A month? Longer?

 For me, ungrace is always just a thought away. If I don’t immediately and intentionally flood my mind with thanksgiving or scripture or pause to say a prayer,  a flame ignites and before I know it, I’m consumed with it…ungrace.

Today, ungrace looks a lot like guilt, but sometimes it’s anger or judgement or self pity burning out of control.

After talking with my sweet aunt, I’m making every effort to accept my moments as gifts, even the overwhelming ones.  I’ve got my gratitude journal in hand and I’ve turned up the flow of thankful thoughts.


Do you ever find yourself living in ungrace?

~I pray that today, whatever we’re doing,  all of us would be filled with the awareness of God’s amazing grace~

Sending love my friends


  1. Jane says

    Yes, I do…same thing… the guilt, overwhelmed… When did I start thinking I could do it all? Thankful for the gentle reminder! Have a grace filled day.

  2. says

    So so often. If it’s anger with me, it gets stuck somewhere deep inside. Shows up more as fear and worry.

    Ungrace. I love that new word. UN-GRACE.

    Bless Gail’s sweet heart for listening and saying just the right words at the right moment.

  3. says

    It’s like a slave driver is behind us with a whip. “Do more. Hurry. Catch up. Keep going. You’re so far behind, you’ll never get it all done.”

    I love this Al-Anon saying…KISS. Keep it Simple Sweetheart. I should repeat it more often!

  4. says

    Thanks for sharing this Robin! The stress we inflict on ourselves is amazing isn’t it?! Guilt, deadlines, worry…and most self inflicted. I am feeling peace Robin that no matter what we can’t un-grace. His grace is forever and there for us. In our craziness we turn away…It is still there we just un-remember (I think someone used that term once). Sooo thankful that His grace is still there. We can return our gaze to Him in gratitude and realize those things fanning the flames pale in comparison to our thanksgivings to Him.
    Blessings my friend and all of this will come together in its time. Blessings, thanksgiving and grace!

  5. says

    I wish I could come and be your assistant- you just need an extra “you” to help get things done! I hope you will be easy on yourself- look at allll you have done. You are so far out of your routine- peace, serenity and order are hard to reassemble….

    sending extra love and prayers!

  6. says

    Ungrace…. doesn’t sound like a nice word and it surely doesn’t feel nice. I find myself not giving grace, but being snarfy with hubby if I’m in a state of ungrace.
    Thanks for writing about this today. I’m sure it’ll be a reminder to me to not only be aware of this creeping in to my life and attitude, but you’ve also given me the remedy of thankfulness, prayer and scripture.
    Be blessed and go love on those grandbabies a bit. 😉

  7. Gina says

    I needed to hear this today!! I realize I have allowed “ungrace” to slip in too. I didn’t know what it was though. 😉 I am waiting right now about something and the longer it goes, the more restless (and sinful) my heart becomes. And I hate it and don’t want to be that way. I know He is in control and there is a reason. Thanks Robin! :)

  8. Jen says

    Guilt and worry is a constant if I’m not paying attention. What can I say, I’m a work in process! lol


  9. says

    oh, yes, my dear, i can relate to this post! i made a vow a long time ago not to look at email or stuff online until i’d been in the Word, and, repeatedly, i’ve broken that vow. i easily choose to live outside God’s extravagant gift of love because i am duped into thinking that there’s something ELSE, i.e. more interesting, engaging, less effort, entertaining, distracting, than choosing to enter into God’s extravagant love gift that day at that time. see–i can sink into guilt and ungrace too!

    thanks for the reminder that God loves me unconditionally.

  10. says

    Robin, you’ve accomplished so much since the move! I’m just blown away by how much you do. I think we all experience ungrace – more than we probably want to admit. The fact that you are sensitive to it and are re-focusing through gratitude is, in itself, a gift of grace.


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