My go to state of mind is troubled.
I remember the feeling from early childhood, and now all these decades later, if left to my own devices, I will walk through my days in a dark haze of uneasiness.
During my quiet time I’m reading through the gospel of John, the other morning I read:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.” (Jn 14:1)
Of course it jumped out at me, because right now, (you guessed it) I’m troubled. Nothing earth shattering is going on…most of you wouldn’t be bothered at all, but as I said, troubled is my go-to state of mind. Holding onto that verse a few minutes later, I said it out loud over and over as I drove the dark backroads to the gym.
Strangest thing happened…somehow every time I said the word trust, I saw a glow from someone’s porch light.
Unfriendly darkness surrounded the car as I whispered: “Do not let your hearts be troubled…Trust in God…” As soon as the words trust in God, left my mouth, I passed a porch light softly illuminating someone’s front door. And I felt something very much like peace.
I said the verse again slowly, driving past house after house blanketed in darkness- “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God…” Again, I noticed that someone else left on their porch light when I say, trust in God, and like before, that same feeling of peace washes over me.
I must have said it 10 times and almost every time I got to the phrase: trust in God, I saw the glow of another light and every time my emotional reaction was the same–peace.
Perhaps the only way to dispel the darkness of being troubled is to turn on the light of trust by remembering Who I trust.
I trust God.
He’s got this.
I bet most of you don’t have issues with feeling troubled but if you do, how do you handle it?
Sending love sweet friends