(via Whitney English)
Sometimes struggle is part of the story.
It’s not easy to accept struggle in my own life but it’s even harder to stand by and watch someone I love in a struggle. For one, it’s costly emotionally, but beyond that, it’s difficult to quiet the fixer in me. When I feel a person’s hurt I immediately look for answers. I want to help them out of their struggle. NOW.
But what if they need to feel the pain. What if they need to lean into their hurt in order to move through it?
What if part of the struggle is part of their story?
Over the past two months I’ve heard about several life changing catastrophes happening in the lives of people I care about. The other morning while I was praying for some of these things, I found myself searching for ways to fix a situation, or for ways to bring hope to someone else…because I don’t want anyone to feel unnecessary pain.
But what if, like me, the struggle is part of their story and they don’t need a fix?
I wrote this in my journal that day…
For days this darkness encroaches until it permeates everything.
I keep hearing tragic stories that knock the breath out of me.
So much loss. So much pain.
I strain in the darkness to see joy, but like fireflies at dusk, she blinks bright and disappears just at the moment I reach for her.
So this morning I’ll stop trying. Sitting here with open palms, I won’t try to grasp for light.
I’ll let my eyes adjust to the dark.
I feel my breath, in and out…
And I thank you for breath.
I let my heart hurt for those who are hurting and I pray for your peace over their lives as they live through the struggle-
Because surely the struggle is a part of their story.
Chances are, if you aren’t hurting yourself, someone you love is hurting. Do you find it hard to accept pain as part of the story?
Sending you love today my sweet friends
xo
Yes, I find it very hard to accept pain as part of the story.
Julia, me too honey xo
I read a book a few years back entitled “The Gift of Pain” by Philip Yancey and Paul Brand. Pain (struggle) is identified as an indicator that something is wrong. I never want either but usually am brought closer to the Lord through both. I wonder sometimes why I need them to draw me close to Him. Why do I stray in the first place? I’m most content and happy when I’m walking beside Him. Oh well, sorry for the rambling. You touched a cord with me this morning. I think I will go meditate on these things. Wishing you a happy day.
Felicia, that’s one of my all time favorite books my friend xo
What a good word! I, too, am a fixer and I look for ways to fix the painful situation my loved ones are in, which in this day and age, seems to come more often. Joblessness, rebellious teens, children turning against parents, and on and on it goes.
Thank you, Robin, I needed to hear this! Pls. keep sharing The Word!
Mary, you and me both!!! xo
What a beautiful post, Robin.
So often your thoughts and struggles reflect my own. You are a beautiful writer, and I thank you for sharing your Christian reflections on life. We mommas are fixers, but I know that isn’t always what the Lord would have us do. Pray!
The theme for our new MOPS year starting in the fall is “A Beautiful Mess….Embrace Your Story”! It’s going to be a great year sharing our stories!
Blessings.
Beth, that’s a great theme! I’d love to hear how it’s going once you get started! ox
Beautiful thoughts Robin. I think in order to grow we must go through trials in our life. We never become better when everything is easy. I try to remember that God knows every hair on my head, so he knows about my troubles. Then I ask him to help me through it and it always turns out for the best long term. If you ask him he will help, just not always in our timing.
Your thoughts and your writings are so poetic! Looking back we know. When living in the pain we hope. God gives us both. Blessings and prayers.
As a mom, I have always wanted to jump right in and stop any struggles my children are going through. I find it very hard not too. But, as I have learned, sometimes this struggle is something that they need to go through in order to learn. I may still help out in a small way, but try to step back (Oh, is it hard to!) and place it all in God’s hands. xxx-ooo
Eileen, that’s the worst! Trying to to stop my babies from making mistakes and getting hurt is always on my mind.
I USED to be the fixer, but have leartned through Al-Anon that I can NOT fix others and should not try to fix their struggles. The strugle IS part of the story and we all come out of the struggle stronger, and with more self esteem. But it is HARD to back away, especially as a Mother. SO hard. I have to keep telling myself that stepping back is what is best for them. And pray for them, always. I use your prayer bracelet every morning and you are at the top of my list. XOXO
you’re so right Pinky xo
How true this is. Ultimately, with every struggle and trial we should draw closer to God or even accept Him if we don’t know Him personally. I read recently that instead of seeking an answer or a fix for our problems we need to just seek Him. He is The Answer!! 🙂
Gina, I know for me that’s true, the struggles bring me closer to Him. xo
I love this post. I so often feel the same way. Sometimes I feel helpless though — and can’t help someone — I can only pray.
I’m going to look for that book that was mentioned — looks like a good read!
Gina, me too and helpless is maybe just where God wants us xo
The last three years I have lived the title of your post. Like everyone, there have been highs and lows. But the lows were really LOW. I waited an entire year to get a diagnosis only to find out it is something I’ll live with the rest of my life. In talking to my Pastor about this, she said, “how wonderful you now know….and how thankful you should be in that God has used you in this way. Think how much you’ll be able to help other people going through their own journeys trying to find answers.” That put a smile on my face! Yes, the struggle is part of MY story! Thank you for your post.
Julie, I’m so touched that you shared some of your story and so humbled by your heart and wanting to help others-there’s a scripture about comforting others the way you’ve been comforted…sending love to you xo
You are so caring and kind and sweet, Robin. You inspire me.
Elizabeth, you sweet friend, inspire me too. xo
Such a powerful post, Robin. And Tom’s right. Your writing IS poetic.
This truth is such a paradox isn’t it? What feels so normal and natural and right–to jump in and try to fix–isn’t usually what He’s leading us to do.
But rather, to do exactly as you said. We’re to do THE HARD THING instead–to open our palms, breath, and pray.
XOXOXO
Julie, don’t we parents always feel the need to fix, maybe that’s why I want to fix everything for everyone…it’s the mom in me!