I’m linking today to the fun blog party: Hooked on Friday’s over at Hooked on Houses...you’ll find loads of interesting things your blog-peeps are hooked on this week!
I’m super excited Peeps! Someone so dear to me is sharing today and next week on Aging Gracefully. Some of you may know her, she’s written for Guideposts Magazine for as long as I can remember. Currently she’s a Contributing Editor for GP. She’s written seven books; Out of My Bondage, No Turning Back, Two of Everything But Me, Learning To Lean, Look Out Fear, Here Comes Faith!, The Nevertheless Principle. (these books are out of print but can be found at Barnes & Noble Used Books or Amazon.) Then there’s her newest book: Praying For My Life which came out in 2005.
I’ve know Marion since I was in the ninth grade, which was eons ago! Her oldest daughter Julie and I have been joined at the hip since that nerve-racking ninth grade year. Marion is the epitome of a Southern lady. She’s gracious and funny and real.
I’ve always loved Marion. When I was younger and spent time at Julie’s house I found I liked to just stare at Marion and memorize the way she did things. She’s tall and beautiful and moves through a room making everyone she comes in contact with feel special. The woman has always been a Presence. I’m so honored that when I asked her to give me her thoughts on Aging Gracefully from a Seventy – Something perspective she didn’t flinch. Very soon after I asked her, I got a typed (Marion still uses her typewriter to do all her writing!) latte color envelope in the mail. I was giddy to read what she wrote…
Pour yourself a fresh cup of coffee ladies, put your feet up and enjoy this first of two posts by Marion Bond West Acuff…(When The Husband and I got married, he began affectionately referring to Marion as MBWA…pronounced: Mub-Wah 🙂
~Marion’s Observations on Growing Older…Part One~(Part Two next week!)
Some Surprises
It’s not what I thought. It’s like the old timers told me decades ago. “On the inside I still feel 35, 20 or even ten years old!” Now I know what that means. It’s true. My insides, my emotions still want to do energetic stuff. Clean house, run, engage in passion with my husband, organize my closet, my paper-strewn office, answer mail, shop till I drop, vacuum. (well, I never did believe in vacuuming to be totally honest)
As my wonderful mother (who died in 2001) said: “I’m fine—I just have the old age infirmities.” She died at 92 and beat cancer three times. I believe because she wasn’t afraid of it—or anything. She was quite a mom. If I could mother my children over again, I’d do for them what my mother did for me. She marveled at me every time she saw me. As though I’d just returned from the moon. I can’t remember her ever looking at me without smiling. She made me feel like I was special (which holds over today) and I was /am barely average. The special way she treated me stayed with me for a lifetime. Moms, what you do matters.
As you get older, occasionally you get a pleasant surprise. As I turned seventy, I discovered I had naturally curly hair! In my younger years I’d prayed for it, fervently, as well as a turned up nose and size 5 ½ feet (rather than 8 ½ ). I only discovered my curls because I was diagnosed with RA and couldn’t put hours into my hair care every week. So I shampooed it and fell back into bed. I awoke with curly hair! Oh joy! Now, I only wash and scrunch it (and of course have it colored a believable reddish/copper). Another nice surprise came when My dermatologist put me on Accutane. She said where I gave myself the weekly injections (Embrel for RA) was bruised because I lack collagen. Now, here’s the big deal, the collagen in Accutane doesn’t know any better than to go to my aged face and plump it up again! I’m excited!
I’m a little bit vain. When I travel, half my luggage has all the things I use from the neck up! I also have to bring all my prescriptions. I take a bunch of them! One being that weekly injection of Embrel for the RA. It’s working, I’m now pain-free! But with the RA I do still have to guard my energy. I don’t hesitate to say no to anything I don’t want to do. That’s another nice thing about getting older, not feeling the need to say yes to everything.
But there are some things I love that I don’t get to do anymore. I walked 4 miles (early mornings) up until 3 years ago, when the RA became tough. I haven’t gotten back to it. I miss my early morning walks. That was an adjustment. Here’s another one, my arms. I hate the wrinkly skin on my arms when I hold them up. But I’ve figured out how to cope with that…I just keep them down! You have to roll with the punches.
Another pleasant surprise at my age is that I enjoy talking to men friends without the fear of flirting. I never flirted when I was younger anyway. I don’t guess I knew how or maybe I feared being obvious—or worse—rejected. But now it doesn’t seem to matter, so I can laugh and ask men questions or be interested sincerely about their troubles in life.
Another delightful thing that I allow myself now…naps! Naps are marvelous. I sleep well at night, go to bed early and then usually have a long afternoon nap with my cat on my stomach.
In my dreams which are vivid, colorful and some unforgettable, I visit with Mother. She wears her favorite “ear bobs” and perfume “White Shoulders”. We have fun. I also dream about old school chums (that’s a 50’s word!) and I’m young again. So are they. We have adventures—sometimes there’s romance with old boyfriends (who are now deceased). I adore dreams of my children being young and I’m a happy, soft-spoken mom, bending down to marvel at a flower or adjust a hair ribbon or examine a frog. I marvel at each of my four children. Often we go school shopping and I can smell the new clothes. Other times I’m back in my old neighborhood. This is probably because almost every night while lying in bed, I walk mentally through the house I grew up in. I remember each room, the floors, the glass door knobs, the 17 steps down the back porch. My beloved cat, Josephine and dog, Chris. I sometimes venture back to some of my favorite childhood times, like going to the public swimming pool. I can almost catch a sniff of the chlorine. For 15 cents I would get inside. With a dime, I got a Baby Ruth candy bar and a coke. I see myself swimming underwater and above water. And the thrill of riding my yellow bike home all the while anticipating supper.
Dreams are a huge part of my joy. When you get older…you remember. Vividly.
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Wow! I love this on so many levels. The encouragement to moms to marvel when their kids come in the room, I so love Marion’s perspective as an adult who still benefits from an attitude her mom had so long ago. I love seeing proof that what we do matters. What we do can change a life. Marion’s mom, (I knew her as Julie’s Gogie) left a beautiful legacy. And Marion is living a beautiful legacy.
I love the surprises Marion shared. After being shocked by my reflection I so look forward to some good surprises!
My favorite thing though, is the vivid memories and the dreams of her mom. I dream of my mom too. And I’ve walked through my house (on Forrest Glen ,Daddy!) in my mind many times…do you know what this says to me? The tiny things MATTER!!!
I pray for you to be encouraged today Peeps, as you live the legacy you want to leave…
Don’t forget to head over to Hooked on Houses to check out what new and amazing things your blog peeps are hooked on this week!
Wow. She’s my mom and she has my crying. Robin, Thank you sooooo much for asking her to do this. It helps me understand things better. Her editor says she’s a true artist. She is. Her creativity and way with words is probably my favorite thing about her. Think up some more good questions to ask her!
i love that in the little bit of Julie I’ve come to know, I can totally see her in her mom. you all make me want to be a southern woman. 🙂
Marion, thanks for sharing. I’m so glad you’ve been able to find ways to have modern medicine help you age gracefully, but it would be nothing without the attitude you carry with you on the inside. i love catching a glimpse in your dreams.
.-= gitz´s last blog ..Missing Me =-.
Wow. This one just had me in tears. It is so inspiring to see how others find peace with aging and even come to enjoy so much of it. Thanks for sharing!
P.S. My mom doesn’t “do computer” so she’s coming to my house soon to see the blog. I’m so honored for people to get to know her. 🙂
One look at the lovely picture of Marion and I knew she had to be Julie’s mom! Maya Angelou has a quote about a mother’s eyes lighting up when her children enter the room. That feels like what you so eloquently described, Marion, coming from your own mom and is a mighty tug on my own heart!
So many gems in here that I will carry with me, and I can’t wait to read part 2! Thank you for sharing! Can I ask a question? What is her advice for things she wishes she would have let go of sooner?
.-= Vicky´s last blog ..Sinking your teeth into a good book… =-.
Good question, Vicky. I’ll ask her…or maybe she has these things listed in Part 2. 🙂
Gitz, Ellen and Vicky, I’ll pass along your sweet words.
I am in awe of Marion. Such a beautiful outlook on everything. It makes you look forward to being 70 something!
.-= caren´s last blog ..NOT QUITE YOURSELF???? =-.
Robin….Thank you for having the wisdom,… listening to God’s direction or whatever made you ask these special and courageous women to give their answers to our questions…..I am grateful for the journey being mapped by someone who really knows, and has a heart to share….Thank you!!! Julie, you are lucky….
Well WOW!
I teared up a little too! So, inspirational. I always wished my kids could see the simpler times. Before TV was on all day, before video games ruled, and people became dependent on technology (myself included) 😉 Honestly, sometimes I forget the simpler times. Just riding my bike and playing with friends.
I have always had vivid dreams. Seems everytime someone special in my life passes. I am visited by them in a peaceful, vivid dream shortly after. Letting me know everything is okay and allowing me to be at peace with their passing. I look forward to next weeks post. Thank you for sharing.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Summer Camp @ Home: Week 1 Kindness =-.
I enjoyed your post and the perspective from seventy something. Each of us wants to feel that we matter……….your Mom poured that blessing out on you everytime she saw you. What a testimony to her love for you. I like your positive attitude about life even though you have RA. The “side effect” of the medication was an unexpected plus. I enjoyed the description of your dreams of simpler times when you were a child and the dreams about your children when they were young.
The best we can do is enjoy everyday because it is a gift from God. Looking forward to reading part 2.
What a beautiful post! Thanks for sharing.
.-= pk @ room remix´s last blog ..Hooked on Stenciled Window Treatments =-.
Marion, thank you for sharing from your heart. Made me “ponder” many things.
Lovely post :o) I guess I should embrace turning 37 tomorrow…and the many, many grey hairs that keep springing up! :oS
.-= Lara Harris´s last blog ..IT IS FINISHED!…and my B-Day Gift to Me :o) =-.
I hope that when I’m your age that I have as much grace!
I have been reading Marion’s stories in Guide Post for many years. Two years ago, when I was going through a particularly difficult time, I read Marion’s book Praying for My Life. That book got me through and I passed it on to several friends who also benefited from it as well. When I realized that Marion was Julie’s Mom, I just had to meet her. She is the real thing! Feminine, graceful, charming and talented. As an almost seventy someone myself, I can only pray that I can pull it off as gracefully as Marion. And may I add, that Julie is every bit as talented and beautiful as her Mom.
I was hoping behond hope I could somehow reach Merion,I have a wonderful story i want to share with her. It happened about two years ago. One cold January morning my dear dear mother passed away from a heart attack. I was broken harted, she was my best friend. We had talked on the phone almost everyday .just recently we moved my parents onto our property so they cound be close, i was so looking forward to a long fun time together. A few days after mom died i was frantictly looking for anything that had her handwriting on it i wanted something to hold that was hers. A few days later my mother-in-law gave my husband a box of cards that had been from his fathers funeral thirity years ago, he had never read them because he was so young at the time his dad passed away. His parents and my parents new each other back in the day, befor any of them were married. They went to the same church and hung out with a lot of the same people. So as we were sitting there that night i was thinking , wouldn”t it be so cool if my mpm had written a card to my husbands mom way back when. Well as be were going through the box of many, many cards i was do disapointed, we were getting to the end of the pile with no luck. Then at the bottom of the box was a little pamflet it read “Nevertheless afterwords” it was all about heaven and it was sent from my mother. The really special part of this story is that both my moms any my all time favorite book is ” The Neverless Principal”. God is a Big God.
Marion Bond West led me to the Lord in 1982 when I read her book, “Learning to Lean.” I cannot wait to meet her in heaven! Thanks for this delightful interview with her.
Oh, Mary. Such a precious comment. I’ll call Mother and read it to her today! Blessings to you and yours.