All dreams don’t come true. I listened to a message by Andy Stanley with that title. (From the series: Boulevard of Broken Dreams)Loved it. The whole premise flies in the face of modern day thinking where if you put “it” out into the “universe” it’ll surely come back to you. (not that there isn’t truth that premise…”As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”) Anyhoo, if you live long enough you may see that some of your dreams won’t come true or sadder still, some dreams that do come true will shatter. This is devastating at first realization but the more you look at it the less power it has…
Like most people, I’ve dealt with broken dreams and postponed dreams over and over. In my twenty’s and thirty’s there was a coping mechanism that I didn’t even know I was using. But it worked. I saw a broken dream on the horizon and after the initial disappointment or even devastation I would began to process something like this:
This is sad but I can fix this and make it happen for me in the future. I have time to see this dream come true. Hold on. It’ll come. This isn’t the end of the dream.
Sounds innocent enough. Sounds positive. Kept me looking forward. But I’m telling you that somewhere in your forty’s you hit the wall with this thought process. I’m 48, The Husband is oh so many years older and it’s happened to us. I have several close friends who have told me the same thing. Deep into your forty’s when you experience a shattered dream, this familiar thought process starts and you no longer feel better because this thought chases it:
I’m running out of time to fix this! There is a real possibility that “this” (whatever this is) won’t happen for me. This dream MAY NOT COME TRUE! This dream is broken and may stay broken!!
And just like that my “go-to ” coping mechanism is rendered useless. Wow! I have been struggling with this on and off for the past several years. I’ve always suspected I’m low on coping skills but the older I get the more this shows up. For me though, this journey is bringing me to a place of peace. A place of surrender.
All dreams won’t come true … on this side of heaven.
There’s the thing. We think of life as 80 some odd years and that’s it. But there’s more. Exactly what’s ahead on the other side of this life we don’t know. But I believe that some of our deepest desires (dreams) won’t come true until the next life. I understand this is a difficult pill to swallow. Not unlike the truth that not everyone will be healed on this side of heaven, but as I get older this gives me some peace. I’m still working for my dreams but when one crashes and burns I’m less likely to be rendered paralyzed these days.
It’s just my truth. May not be for everyone. Love to each one of you today Peeps. And prayers as we live the legacy we want to leave.
So true, Rob. And I’m 49. You’re right. This “understanding” has come in my forties. I didn’t think like this until the past few years. It feels a little like I’m on a roller coaster and have come to the top of a hill. I can see more of the rest of the ride (not all, of course) but enough to understand that all dreams won’t come true in this lifetime. I love that–this lifetime. But we hold on to the hope for the unseen.
I have not yet hit my 40’s but I can honestly say that I’m okay with my dreams not coming true, it’s just fun daydreaming about them! I would rather have my good health and love in my life than have a dream come true and not have those things. That’s the cool thing about God… he does want us to dream… it makes us happy! 🙂 Thanks for sharing Robin! Have a blessed day!
.-= Chele´s last blog ..Thirsty Thursday – Love =-.
I’m filing all of these bits of wisdom away. I value and trust your insight. A friend and I have variations of this discussion all the time. Until recently neither one of us felt like we couldn’t dream big and still achieve those dreams. But I watched her struggle with fertility issues, and then suffer loss after loss. Finally after the loss of his twin, a darling baby boy made it to full term. But he has a multitude of birth defects, including only 1 arm. She grieved tremendously. And we later processed that this was the first time she had truly had her dreams shattered. We had both accomplished so much in our lives! It was such a harsh reality. But yes, in my early forties even, that perspective that I can see all my dreams come true, is shifting!
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I am listening and learning, trying not to think I have absorbed this before I really have. This makes me want to hit my knees and ask God if there’s anything I’m missing. Have you listened to Esther yet?
fb won’t let me comment on your page or update you, and it’s freezing when I try to update my own status to tell you that. My old computer died with your email address. I’m going to try it from memory…if you don’t hear from me in three hours come after me (by emailing me so I have your address).
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As always, this was so good, Robin. I obviously learned about some of this early on in life. For me, I think I had to even let go of the mindset that my dreams would be fulfilled on the other side of this world in heaven. I look at it more that this life, on this side of heaven, can’t be about my dreams but His dreams for me. If a dream is something I want, but it doesn’t work for His plan, then it’s not a dream that was meant for me. And I figure by the time I get to heaven and I get to be in His presence… I won’t need to dream. That’s just an earthly thing… I can let go of the dreams here because I won’t need anything but Him there.
Does that make sense?
.-= gitz´s last blog ..Shoo, Birds . . . =-.
~applaudes~
.-= Mindy´s last blog .. =-.
Man, wow….TIME FLIES ~
So, you and Julie are almost 50!!