I read an article online about how Instagram, Facebook and other forms of social media are causing people to feel bad about themselves. Apparently looking at someones vacation shots, family time and perfect hair tend to give us the impression that everyone else has a perfect life. According to this article, as we watch their days unfold in blissful harmony, we’re depressed and even a little jealous.
My knee-jerk reaction was ohhhhh noooo! Because I’m frequently posting on twitter, Instagram and Facebook (not to mention this blog), I was horrified at the thought that someone might think I have the perfect life! I mean, if you’ve been hanging out with me for any length of time you know I’ve been honest about the years The Husband and I struggled in our marriage, my addictive nature, my battle with a harsh tone, my family dealing with divorce, unwed pregnancy, my struggle with two autoimmune diseases, iron infusions, losing most of my eyelashes on my left eye and panicking when the doctor told me I could have another autoimmune issue that would cause my hair to fall out… I’ve written about all these things and more…
But what if someone just peeked at my photos on Instagram and felt less-than about their own life? What if someone didn’t realize that the photos only tell a part of the story…
See the picture below with sweet Finley sleeping sound on my chest? Five minutes before she’d been fussy and thrashing in my arms, fighting sleep for 20 minutes. We she finally settled down I was overcome with love for this tiny girl and spent the next 40 minutes absorbing the wonder of having her sleep in my arms. That photo will forever remind me of that moment. But that photo only tells part of the story…
And look at precious Hartley and I standing in the falling snow in Colorado…the day before she and I had been throwing up for 12 hours, both of us weak and weary but right there, in that moment, when this photo was snapped, we breathed in bliss and snow and each other. But again, it only tells part of the story.
See that photo below of my girls last month on a little day trip Stone Mountain? Such a sweet picture, all of us together…
That day was in the upper 70’s…super hot!The girls took turns having little fits! (the little girls, not my daughters!) All of us moms pushed buggies, held babies and laughed hysterically as one cried and then another joined in. The photo below, with all my precious girls (Lucy Jean trying to fling herself onto the pavement) was a grace-moment frozen in time and I’ll never forget it. But it wasn’t the whole story.
Ohhhh, and, did you catch my Instagram of Sunday Supper last week when PopPop stood in the pouring rain to cook burgers because Ellie asked for hamburgers for dinner?
What you didn’t see was after dinner, PopPop missing the rest of the evening because he had to sit on the screen porch and try to breathe. Seems the smoke from the grill, which was trapped under the umbrella, caused his sinuses to burn like they were on fire for 2 hours. (A trip to the doctor yesterday confirmed a severe sinus infection!) That photo of PopPop cooking in the rain will always remind Ellie that she is so important to him, and remind the rest of us that PopPop is a softy….but the photo wasn’t the whole story.
I could tell you a back story about almost EVERY single photo I ever put online, because life is messy and loud and often times out of control, but I choose to focus on the grace-moments.
I never, ever want you to leave here and feel less-than. I’m physically sickened by that thought…I pray every single day that anyone who visits leaves inspired in some small way.
Ann Voskamp asks the question: “What will a life magnify?”
I choose to magnify the grace moments… but my sweet friends, you can always count on me to be honest about the hard things.
Sending you love and prayers for your day to be full of grace-moments
xo
Have you ever felt less-than when you glimpse another person’s life online?
I like when people stay honest on their blogs and don’t paint the perfect picture. I know I have gotten some bad comments because I did say just how it is. That’s probably why I love your blog so much 😉
Julia, you and your blog are so refreshing. I love honesty too! Nothing is worse than a bad comment but they teach you to let go don’t they? Sending love xo
Robin, your honesty is one of the reasons I continually read your blog. My friend Robyn (I love Robins, Robyns and even bird robins)and I were just talking on Saturday how everyone’s life seems so perfect on Facebook–their marriages, their marathons, their children, their vacations. We know that’s only half the story–and one that we, too, are guilty of telling. We sat there in the restaurant for hours and laughed and talked about the real stuff, the hard stuff. It was so healing.
Anna, ya know you just hit on an important reason that face to face relationships are so important. (you know me, the introvert with few face to face friends!) Thank you for hanging out with me and I’m sooooooo happy to be one of your Robins! 🙂 xoxo
Robin,
I love how you always keep things “real” and how you still want to share with us. I look forward to your blog and enjoy it so much. You put more heart into your blog and it’s my favorite. Blessings to you and your projects as you help others.
Jen
Jen, you are so absolutely encouraging (always). I never ever want to sugar coat but I do so want to focus on the graces .xoxo
Hi Robin,
I am a frequent reader who hardly ever comments, but I just had to say thank you for this post. It is clear from reading your blog that you are such an honest, open and caring person. We can all use a reminder that things aren’t always as perfect as they seem in a picture, but the real “stuff” of life is never perfect. Courtney
Courtney, I’m so happy you commented! Ya know Vicky reminded me in her comment above that all our moments are really grace moments and you are so right…the real stuff of life is never perfect xoxo (I think I’m growing to love and appreciate imperfection the older I get!)
Robin, I also appreciate your honesty and enjoy your blog. I must admit though, it’s easy to get caught up in all this technology and think that others lives are so much better than your own. I feel that I can see past it, since I think I’m closer to your age, but I am constantly reassuring my 3 daughters (one in her 20’s and the other two in college) that tweets and instagrams and facebook sometimes makes people feel bad about themselves. I’m so glad facebook wasn’t around when I was younger! lol
Genny, maybe it is our age (I’m very sure I’m older than you 🙂 ) And I hadn’t thought of the idea that our kids in their 20s might find it more difficult to navigate social networks! Great insight! xoxo
I read that research about fb too. I’ve often wondered how the “snippets” of life we share get perceived. I feel so blessed to know how authentic you are and that your back story is just as precious as the grace filled moments you share! Love to you sweet friend~
love you to the moon sweet Vicky and you remind me in your comment that all our moments (good & bad) are grace-moments xoxo
I love seeing your grace moments. It helps me realize my own. You are always eye opening and encourging. That’s why I come to your blog time and time again. Your witness to God’s love helps me know that the positive in my life is greater than the negative and that there is always reason to celebrate His grace. Blessings surround us all.
Deanna, I’m so encouraged to hear you say ‘it helps me find my own’ …sooooo encouraged. Thank you for your sweet words and for being my friend xoxo
The reason I was drawn to your blog a few years ago was because you did share with us those times in life when things were not so good. It comforted me, knowing that my life was not the only life that had gone through some hard times. And, you enforced my belief that God is always there to uplift and love us no matter what.
Today, I am thankful for you, Robin. For your honesty, friendship and faith in God.
Eileen, You are and have always been such a good friend. I’m thankful for you too sweetie. sending love xo
This might be my all-time Wednesday heart post.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how God spoke to me so sweetly the day you were having one of your infusions–and it was pouring down rain–and in my mind, I see that pic of you in your polka-dotted rain boots.
Unforgettable life lesson, for me, Robin.
Those boots taught me so much. You wrote about your infusions and yet, at the same time, you were able to go sit for hours that day wearing your precious rain boots.
Love you honesty and rugged faith. And you!
Julie, love u xoxo
love this about you, and loved hearing the back stories!
poor Husband! wow, that was probably a really nasty unexpected side effect!
i was struck just now by your AV quote. if you looked at my life this morning, it would seem as though my life magnified STRESS and what it looks like when you don’t handle it well. good words to remember.
hugs!
Hey Jenn!!! I have a bend towards stress and you dont, so when you say you had a stressful morning I imagine it REALLY was!!! Sending love sweet friend xo
Your words touched my heart again Robin! You are so right, life isn’t all peaches-n-cream, but through all our struggles we have gratitude and know we are blessed with our life today. What a blessing you are to your readers. xoxo
Gabrielle, so glad you could relate to life’s struggles 🙂 Sending love Sweetiexoxo