“Your fears establish the limits of your life.” Pastor Pete used that quote in a message I heard online. The Husband and I listen to Pastor Pete a couple of times a week. Sitting snuggled on the sofa with hot chocolate enjoying our time with Cross point TV, when he said “your fears establish the limits of your life” we both took in a deep breath and held it for a second.
I looked down. The Husband’s eyes bored a hole in the side of my head.
“Holy crap”, I whispered eloquently. “If that’s true, I’ll be confined to the bedroom any day now.”
The Husband said nothing but I caught a glimpse of his eye brows shooting towards the ceiling as he nodded.
My friends say it like this, “If you want a worse case scenario, ask Robin.” I call it my Better Judgment. And it’s capitalized for a reason. It’s a separate entity, this Better Judgment of mine.
It talks! It tells me things. Lots of things. Things like, “keep away from the ledge while holding your baby or puppy…you know what could happen.” Or “don’t let the 2 year old chew on that rubber band”…or “don’t let the 4 year old bite into the hot-dog” (without cutting it down the middle), or don’t let your 10 year old ride his bike after dark, there are crazy people driving in this neighborhood.” These are things I still listen to when my Better Judgment whispers in my ear. But don’t judge…I don’t always listen. Sometimes I just roll my eyes and mock my Better Judgment. Here’s a great example, my Better Judgment has always had a thing against bridges and would scream to me: “if you drive over this bridge and the bridge collapses you’ll need to get the heck out of this car and you can’t really swim, I’m not even sure if you could save yourself in a pinch. Stop! Don’t go over this bridge, it’ll be the end of you!” I can roll my eyes at the bridge situation. Now. There was a time though, that crossing bridges in a car made me hyperventilate. And sadly, I’m not kidding.
My Better Judgment gets really problematic sometimes. I am constantly hearing: “why are you writing, it’s a silly waste of time.” And the daily, “don’t bother working on the book today, you’ll never finish it and if you do it’s just a big waste…time, energy, effort… wasted on what? Nothing that’s what. Do something else that you can’t fail at, go clean your bathroom.” (Grrrrrrr)
Yeah…after hearing the quote “your fears establish your limits in life” I kinda felt betrayed by my Better Judgment. I’ve been in fact, growling at it for days. Just this morning when it said: “go eat the brownie, you’ve already messed up your eating for the day anyway…” I broke the news to him…
“I’m done with you” I said. “You heard me. I’m breaking up with you. It’s just not working out for me anymore. I’m weary with letting you establish my limits in life. We’re soooo over.”
Now I’m on the lookout for a new Better Judgment. One that will urge me on. One that will say happy things along with cautions. I’m ready to let God establish my limits. What about you? Do you need to give your Better Judgment the boot? (PS~turns out it wasn’t my Better Judgement tempting me with the brownies, it was my Sweet Tooth. Yeah, she’s a real pushy broad. But I’m not ready to cut ties with her just yet. It’s not the right time, today I’m making Valentine sugar cookies and cupcakes. Maybe next month.)