Autumn is the most wonderful time of the year. Just my opinion!
I love the kinder gentler temperatures, trees showing crimson splendor, pumpkins on the porch and evenings snuggling on the couch.
It’s also the beginning of the holiday season. And by ‘holidays’ I mean one opportunity after another to make connections and memories with family and friends. Those get-togethers are full of promise but they can also be a source of angst, because with every family time there’s the possibility of hurt feelings or angry flare-ups.
Have you ever been with family or friends and someone makes a flippant remark that cuts you to the core? Maybe it wasn’t the words they said, perhaps it was the harshness of the tone or the caustic sarcasm that cut deep.
In past years , I’m pretty certain at one time or another, my tone or words have left drama, stress and judgement. in their wake. And to my horror, because this is something I never want to do, I know I’ve said or done things that made someone feel less-than. These impressions are the exact opposite of my hearts desire, which is to be a source of peace. To leave someone feeling better about themselves than they did before. To leave someone feeling loved and appreciated.
But how?
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A couple of weeks ago, my quiet time reading was in Philippians. Paul was urging them (the Philippians) to get along, to love each other…and then he tells them how:
*In humility consider others better than yourself…
Hummm, maybe this is a key.
In my journal I wrote:
When I have trouble loving people…when I’m nit-picky and my tone is harsh…when I’m quick to judge…
Father help me remember to:
Consider others better than myself…
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So that’s my prayer in this season … In every single opportunity, to have that filter.
Considering others better than myself and in doing so, to give them preference and leave them with only good things.
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Have you ever struggled with considering others better?
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I’m still counting gifts…#944- a season full of opportunity for my weakness to become strength with the help of the Father…
~Love to you my sweet friends~
Thanks, Robin for timely advice. I shudder to think of the times my careless words have hurt others. Many I know about, but what about all the times I don’t? Sickening. I have found that it helps me to slow down enough to really listen to others, then I remember to consider them better, and spread words of love and peace. Happy Fall to you!
Jane…you’ve only ever spread words of encouragement to me. love you
Look at those first two words…in humility. Not something I can fake or muster up on my own. Must come from daily laying down my rights. My interests. My plan. And putting Him first.
Oh, Lord, forgive me. On my own, I can be quick to judge.
Julie…and like Ann says, the moment you think you’re humble it flies away and you’re no longer humble… :-0
Great reminder Robin. Unfortunately my bad tones seems to be reserved mostly for family, those closest to me and I love the most. Praying too that I humble myself and allow God to guard my tongue and heart to speak love and respect into ALL others.
Blessings.
Tom, I do that w/ Mike, just let down my guard and let him have it. Fortunately he doesn’t let me get away with it! And do you find w/ your daughter living on campus it’s easier to say the words and have the tone you want to? I know as my grown up kids moved out of the house that issue corrected itself for the most part. sending love…
no doubt Robin, that relationship and tone has changed with my daughter and of course hers with us…Glad we have strong spouses that don’t let us get away with it when we somehow come from that ugly place…God and Ronda have helped me greatly over recent years…
Great advice for all year long!
I look forward to seeing your blog pop up in my in box!
Being the perfectionist that I am, I must say that yes, I have definitely said something to a family member with a harsh tone. I have immediately regretted it, but the tone was communicated and the person I am sure felt hurt.
Thanks for this wonderful advice! I will carry it with me and try to remember it before I speak! :0)
Love this. My constant prayer is that I will think before I speak. Seriously. I am one of those “tell it like it is” people so I really have to be careful. God is gracious though and I am doing better. 😉
Thank you so much for making me reconsider how many times I say something to my loved ones in a harsh voice and then I immediately regret it and unfortunately I can do nothing but feel sorry…they say a bad word can harm more than a sword and I think it’s true….your posts are always food for thoughts
Hugs from Italy
This is a wonderful reminder. I love how it is worded and will strive to think of others as better than me!!! You are such an inspiration to me my friend. XO, Pinky
Over and over I am getting the lesson that the “tiniest” suggestions hold the key to the biggest lessons. I love how this is framed and am going to write this down too… “consider others better than myself.” Yes, especially my kiddos who bear the brunt sometimes of my overly harsh corrections and tone of voice- my intention is good, my deliverance is other than I intend… sigh… thank you for that nudge! Love you!
Good reminder Robin. Much hurt can come from tone and words. Having been at the receiving end I know that first hand.
I try not to react and to forgive when it happens as I like to think it was not done in malice.
Jen
This subject has weighed heavy on my mind lately. Now, reading what you’ve written underscores that I need to continue to pray about how *I* may be coming across to others–not focusing on how *I* am hurt by others.
Do you ever feel that when you are trying to clear up miscommunication with others, that you’ve made things 10x worse? That is where I am right now. Some times when I feel that I’m in a dark hole, I need to put down the shovel, instead of continuing to dig. ;o)
Teresa…oh boy have I ever done that…tried to clear things up and then made everything worse! I’m sorry you’re having a rough time. Hang in there- things usually take time but they calm down eventually. love to you my friend…
Just read this today. And it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Somehow I’ve been missing your blog on facebook. =(
I was thinking you must have taken a long break but I think somehow I’m just missing it. I not crazy over this new facebook layout.
But so thankful that I read this today. It was right on time.
Have a great day!