We are home. Emma (and her 2 pups) are staying with us for awhile.
She can’t drive or go back to work until she’s released by the Neurologist and we aren’t really clear on when that will be. (If she doesn’t have any more “episodes”, maybe within the next 2 weeks)
In the next week she will be wearing a Holter Monitor for several days to record her heart rhythms and a ambulatory EEG Monitor to record her brain’s electrical activity. She’s also being referred to a group of specialists at Emory and may have to change OB/GYN doctors if her pregnancy is diagnosised “high risk”.
Things are very uncertain around here with no definitive diagnosis for Emma. We have six…can someone sigh heavily for me please, SIX pups in the house. (Oh Father in heaven, help us)Emma can’t work right now…or pay her bills. We (The Husband and I)were scheduled to go on vacation (our first vacation in 2 years), leaving next Saturday, and now things are way up in the air, not wanting to leave Emma…
We are in crisis mode. Not a giant crisis. But over the years I’ve come to understand what helps me through a crisis and what exacerbates the crisis. After all, if you’re diagnosised with a disease, there are certain things most people do, things like getting educated, go to the doctor regularly, start eating healthy, live in a place of serenity so their bodies can heal and quiet the white noise of life.
Some of these adjustments can help with life’s challenges too.
Here’s what helps me…
~don’t neglect my quiet time…in fact, I need more when I’m in crisis mode.
~Stop unnecessary stress. Simplify life so I can focus on the journey I’m traveling at the moment.
~Be careful what I let in…music, reading, TV. Nothing wrong with any of those but when I’m going through a challenge if the white-noise of life fills me, I feel the stress more intensely, so I take those down a notch.
~Eat healthy. I feel bad about myself when I overeat or eat just junk. I really don’t need anything extra to “feel bad” about.
~Exercise, even if it’s just walking. I need to breathe fresh air and move on normal days, but much more so when I’m in crisis-mode.
~Be careful what I say. I can’t rehash every detail and every feeling constantly. I can’t indulge in the destructive game of “what if”. I have a couple of people I talk to and let loose with but I have to be very careful not to do this all the time. The more I talk about my fears or stresses the bigger they become. But there’s another side of being careful of what I say:
I’m not one to say what I know may not be true…things like, God is going to heal Emma. God is going to turn this around any day now. God wouldn’t let something bad happen to her or the baby… I’ve seen too many people very close to me go through sickness that didn’t get a healing and seasons when God let things happen that I would have defined as “bad”. I don’t say what I don’t believe.
What I do believe is that God’s completely aware of what’s going on. He’s not surprised. He has a plan. I may not like it. But He is after all…God. And (help me Father…) I choose to trust Him.
That’s the list I made this morning to remind myself life isn’t normal right now and I shouldn’t be oblivious.
I have to be intentional to maintain my serenity.
I’d love a prayer for Emma if you think of it…