Hello my sweet friends! Today, I’ve got a treat for you! My BFF (since 9th grade) is hanging out with us! Her name is Julie Garmon and she’s an amazing writer…Julie writes regularly for Guideposts and has been published in CrossWalk and Christianity Today…she’s currently writing a novel! I asked her to share a heart post with us this week while I’m on vacation…I know you’ll love her if you don’t already know her!
Welcome Julie!
***
While my children were growing up, I believed a lie.
I thought if I could be a Perfect Mother, I could raise Perfect Children.
Have you ever heard of such nonsense?
On my first day at home with baby Jamie (our first child), my mother stopped by.
Jamie started screaming. I couldn’t do anything to make her happy.
She’s less than a week old and I’m already failing!
Crazy, I know.
I thought it was my job to make sure she never cried.
Or got sick. Or dirty. Or hurt. Or sad. Or lonely.
Or misbehaved when she got older.
While we ate supper, I laid her on the sofa. Somehow she wiggled toward the back of the sofa.
What kind of Perfect Mother does things like this?
Before Mother left, we snapped a few happy pictures.
I’m smiling (a Perfect Mother always smiles) but on the inside,
I was a Nervous Nellie.
Two and a half years later Katie was born, 30 years ago today, April 30th. 🙂
Happy birthday, Katie!
What pressure! Now I had two little girls to make Perfect.
I tried so hard to be a Perfect Mother.
Which was exhausting.
Cheery notes in lunchboxes, ribbons in hair, matching outfits, plus I never screamed (on the outside).
Then something happened that began to change me.
Our third child Robbie was born with anencephaly.
He lived twenty minutes.
Life and death can rearrange our thinking. Shift priorities.
We had another son two years later.
Slowly but surely, (and definitely while raising teenagers!) I discovered how wrong I was.
It was never my job to be a Perfect Mother.
And something else.
The root of my desire for perfection was control.
I wasn’t in control then.
I’m not in control now.
God is.
He’s my Perfect Father. And my children’s Perfect Father too.
Did you believe any crazy lies about motherhood?
P.S.
I’m helping to spread the word about a new ministry called The M.O.M. Initiative. “Mothers on a Mission to Mentor other Mothers.”
They’re having a conference July 21 – August 2, 2014 in Jacksonville, FL for moms, mentors, and leaders, and are reaching out to mothers everywhere, and not just during the conference.
Such good stuff! Wish this had been around 30 years ago.
Click on the picture below for more information.
Love,
Julie
 I’d love to get to know you better. I blog each Wednesday HERE And find me on Pinterest, Facebook, and TwitterÂ
I too wish this would have been around years ago. Reading your post I too can relate to pressures of being a perfect mom. I see how this is affecting my grown children. Thank you for the post.
Hey Elaine,
Thank you so much for saying you understand! I wish I’d known this year ago too. Whew! I guess we don’t come to Truth until we’re ready. Blessings to you and yours~~
I still struggle with this and my daughter is 22. I think as Mom’s we need to lighten up on what we do.
Jen, me toooo! And now I have to remember this w/ my granddaughters. Women are just wired to do this I think but I want to focus on what’s really important don’t you? xo
I’m getting better. I try to focus on joy and even in the little things like trips to Target 😉 I hope you had a great trip.!
Jen, I love that! I used to try to turn errands into fun too…it really helps the kiddos attitude doesn’t it??? ox
Such graceful wisdom. I often wonder if I did have someone tell me such things then, would I have listened? Would I have changed my thoughts? I wonder… I always believed I could do it all… but I often found while I could manage two balls in the air, the third always came crashing down. It does take a long time to realize what to hang on to and what to let go and let fall away. So beautifully told, Julie, and so insightful- thank you!
Vicky…I wonder the same thing. I so hope young moms will really listen and let go of that perfection mentality…xo