(Taken January 2011)
I get sentimental as one year fades gloriously into the next, maybe it because of my issues with moving on and letting go. Whatever the reason, in the spirit of closure, every December I like to set aside time to think about what God’s been up to over the past 12 months.
For weeks now, I’ve been going back through my prayer journal month by month and making notes about the things I see in those pages. This is one of the many benefits of keeping a prayer journal, I can look back through those pages filled with my deepest longings, joys, burdens and questions, and see God’s hand.
As always, there were many seemingly random incidents and lots of hit and run encounters, that made little sense at the time. But looking back, with a bit of perspective, I can see common threads running through my days. The quiet days, the days that were full of laughter and other days that were spent in tears, all of them connected. And of course, nothing was random. No encounter was truly a hit and run, and even a loss, which to me came out of nowhere, was not a surprise to God. Although my view of 2011 has almost no distance, even from here, I can see that He’s been faithful to teach me more about believing and giving thanks.
Always these past months, as I journaled, I came back to those two things: “do you believe?” And, “count your gifts”.
Do I believe that nothing comes to me that isn’t first filtered through His fingers? Then give thanks in all things…
Do I believe that He has a plan even when I can’t see it? Then give thanks for light to see just the next step.
Do I believe He can’t stop pouring out His love? Then look around you & see His love in even the smallest details… and thank Him.
“Believe” was my one-little-word for 2011 and I’m humbled at the tiny shift in my perspective. Don’t get me wrong guys, one bulls-eye tragedy and I could quickly lose that perspective and turn into a screaming-angry at God lunatic. But for these past months God’s been patiently running the thread of belief through all my laughter and all my tears.
And I’ve no doubt that God put this book in my hands last January because He knew that my lessons in belief would go hand in hand with my lessons in gratitude.
And it brings me to my knees…His hand in my life.
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I’m still counting gifts… #1062-for helping me to see the common threads running through these past months~
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Do you take some time at the close of the year to reflect? If so, I’d love to hear about your process…
~Prayers for a peace-filled last week of 2011 my friends~
Beautiful honesty. Beautiful insight. Beautiful you.
thanks Julie – smooches and hugs
Thank you Robin for sharing your heart…I am thankful and blessed I “found you”…your posts are almost my thoughts…:)….this year has been a doozy…and I surely can see the Lord’s hand and threads in my life…whew….and I am SO GLAD He has been there thru it….blessings!
May the Lord bless you this coming year with His amazing love, peace, health, joy and bring to you new things of Him.
Glenis
Glenis…thank you my friend for that sweet blessing…love to you
wow Robin thanks for sharing this post…God is an ontime God….as i have been doing alot of reflecting myself these past few days…i also have been able to see how the thread that He has use to weave my life together has been completely amazing….you know as i look over the last two years of my life so much has happened…things that i would have never thought i could go through…He has used to only make me stronger…losing my mom in 2009 and my dad just this year….He has shown me that I have nothing to fear at all…and if i ever had any question about ..if there was life after death…i truly now have no doubt..He has shown me the beauty in death…as i think back on a few weeks before my mom passed…you know Christmas was her favorite time of the year and she always made it so special for us…I begged God not to take her before Christmas..to just let us have her one more time…for the holiday….even though she told me her self that she wasnt going to be here….i still selfishly tried to hang on…each night as i would pick her tiny little body up and carry her to bed ..she would point out different things in her house that she wanted me to wrap up and who she wanted me to give them too…her last Christmas presents to us..the ones she loved…and then as she would want me to climb in bed and hold her…she would ask me…are you scared???…and i would tell her no moma..im not scared are you??? and she would say ..no im not going to be….i became the mother as she became the child….and the awesomeness as she would reach her hand up towards heaven and talk to her loved one gone ahead…even though that would freak me out…still i found such beauty and peace in it as she showed me…there really is a heaven….and she really was seeing those people….i have no doubt….and then the night before she died…i swear this is all true…her whole family was all gather around her bed when she took her last breath…her nurse called the time…she was gone….five mins past and as we all stood there squawling being completely overwhelmed with grief….moma came back to life…i swear this happend….and i believe with all my heart that my moma got to the gates of heaven…looked back because she could hear us crying in such anguish…that she looked at the gate keeper and said wait a min….i have to go back….moma took a deep breath and started breathing again….it completley freaked us all out…even the nurse was crying..she couldnt believe it… in all of her years of experience she had never seen anything like this…i believe this happened becuase there were people in my family that had not gotten to say a proper good bye to moma…so for that night and the whole next day we made it possiable for anyone who felt they needed to or wanted to have some personal time with her…was able to do so….healing His precious healing he offered my family…that night once everything had quitened down…He called my moma home….oh i never knew there could be such beauty in death….Dec 17th she left…Dec 23rd we laid her body to rest and Dec 25th as i handed out her gifts that she has chosen for each one of us…through many many tears…we thanked God that He did give us her…one more christmas….then tragedy struck Dec 26th as my daughter was entering her home after having christmas at her dads..three evil..evil men attacked her and drug her into her home…robbed her…held a gun to her head telling her that they were going to kill her…doing what ever they wanted to with her….and Praise my Jesus…left her there alive…Oh can i tell you just how good God is…..i cant tell you right now that what satan tried to destroy…God has steadly been restoring in her life……..then 2010…16 precious months that i was so blessed to be with my daddy…oh how we laughed and played together….he was my big baby….and i adored him….some times he would get to be in his right mind and alot of the times he just wasnt…we laughted together…we cried together…at first he asked about moma alot….then his mind forgot…but i know his heart never did…..it was the hardest most precious 16 months of my life….every bone in my body hurt from trying to move him around when he couldnt do for himself any more…and he would cry for me because he knew i couldnt harldy do it either…but oh the joy of those days…i loved my daddy…yes i know he wasnt suppost to have moon pies…but they were his favorite so i gave them to him anyway…each night as i would put him to bed he would sit on the side of the bed eating that moon pie and glass of milk..like nobodys business…he would always look over at me and say..you want a bite???…. he was just my big kid…oh the healing God brought into my heart through this time….and once again i was blessed to be surrounded by the ones gone on….sometimes it would freak me out…thinking about all the other people in the room with us that i could not see….but daddy could..he would call them by name….and if he seen someone he didnt know…he would ask me…whos them two old ladies sitting over there???…believe me it took some getting use to….lol…but i became quite comfortable among them…you see i knew my daddy was seeing over…getting a glimps of heaven and i was happy to be there with him….God just showed me so much during those days….theres just so much more i could say….but….for the sake of time….april 27th 8:25 am…as me and my sister set there holding daddys hands…and my care giver ms shirley standing in the back ground…shouting praises to Jesus….we were so blessed to have ms shirley…my precious precious daddy took one deep breath and stepped over to glory….wow….such beauty in death….I miss my precious moma and daddy everyday….but i know that they are at home…and so until He calls me…im just gona be here being about his business…this year on christmas eve as i sat here looking around the room at my family…the one satan almost destroyed….i thanked God…for He is the restorer of all…what satan meant to destroy us with..was just a tiny little thread…in the loom of the Weaver…He uses the good and the bad…that makes our storys….God is just so good…and i am just so blessed….thank you so much Robin for sharing your story this morning..its just what i needed to hear…..you never know who God is going to speak to through your story….today they have brought healing to my soul…thank you…
dianne…thank you for sharing your story my friend. I’m reading it and just overwhelmed with the amount of grace in your beautiful life. You took such good care of your parents, which is really a testimony of how well you were raised I suppose. I’m always deeply touched to hear stories about someone leaving this earth, such sacred moments. And your daughter…oh Dianne. How much she went through, I’m so sorry. But so thankful that she came out alive.
God’s love and grace and peace are all in your words. I’m so honored that you chose to reach out to me and share…Sending you love and prayers for continued grace throughout the new year …
Robin, oh how I enjoy reading your posts. Can you explain what your pray journal is and how you create one?
Thanks!
Teresa…I’ll do a little post on my prayer journal (try to do one this week!) xoxo
What a wonderful idea to reflect on the year. As Christians we should refect on what God has done, whether we are closer to Him, etc. I don’t think I am as intentional as I should be about it but I do refect somewhat. I really love the idea of going back through your prayer journal. I would say the biggest theme in my life this year is “being thankful” too! In ALL circumstances. I think One Thousand Gifts has changed many lives. 🙂
Gina…It’s so true! One Thousand Gifts has changed so many lives! xo
Beautiful. Thanks for the encouragement to pause and reflect. I think you have me thinking about my two words for next year already…I know I need to improve on relection and expectation. Thanks for sharing you.
Tom, I can’t wait to hear your words for next year!!!
Robin, I am a firm believer in “God has a plan, and the plan is good”. Also, there are no coincidences and everything happens for a reason. I KNOW God has blessed me this past month. 2 things that I have prayed HARD about have happened. God is so good and I am so blessed. I love the idea of a prayer journal. Do you just write about what you are praying about? Please let me know how to do this. I am SO thankful for YOU and your sweet heart, generous spirit and friendship. XO, Pinky
Pinky, Yay! I love hearing that your prayer requests were answered just the way you asked!!!
I’m going to do a post about my prayer journal ’cause a couple of my buds have asked! love u
Thanks, Robin for your posts this year. I love reading them, and you have taught me so much! For instance, I have learned to love this little week of the year when the Christmas festivities are over and the new year has not yet arrived. For years I didn’t slow down or reflect, but just hurried on into the next year. Now I know better. I savor the memories, treasure the lessons learned and thank God for his never ending grace and mercy and loving presence. I am pondering my word for 2012. It is a bittersweet time knowing this year is gone forever, but exciting knowing a new year awaits!
Jane, you are so sweet to say you’ve learned anything at all from me…I have learned from you over the years my friend. Your deliberate and organized and peaceful life has always inspired me. love u & can’t wait to hear your word for 2012…and a new grandbaby coming! Congrats by the way !!! xo
Robin,
Once again your words come down from God to us from you. It has been a hard year and I have wanted to give up so many times but my sons and grandchidren need me to stay. Im selfish in giving up but there are times when one is so lonely it seems the right thing to do. I have seen the beauty in death that Dianne talked about, being a hospice RN for 10 yrs. At the moment of them leaving and seeing them reach for God it takes my breath away. I excited to learn about your prayer journal. Praying is not my strong suit and Im sure I could be doing a much better job. Im going to take this time before New Years to reflect to see my faults and good deeds. Im the kind of person who will pick up a lady carrying a lot of groceries and give her a ride home. If there are kids who are in line at the store without enough money, I will pay for them, always telling them to do this for someone in the future who may need it. I dont know where Im going wrong with my life though. I survived my oldest son making 3 tours to Iraq with Gods help and am now trying to survive my youngest who joined the Navy. He is in computers so no more worrying like that. My oldest is still dealing with his injuries and had to get out after 10 yrs. I know God uses everything we do for his glory. My word for 2012 is patience. Nothing happens in our time but in His time for His glory. This is a hard one for me. Im glad I found your site awhile ago cause it really is helping.
Thanks for listening to me. Happy New Year!!!
Pamela…thank you for sharing sweetie. I can not imagine being a hospice nurse. I volunteered for a little while for a hospice service. I wasn’t allowed to share my faith with these precious people who were close to eternity … it was frustrating to feel like I was with them at such a sacred time but not to talk about their beliefs about God and what comes next. Your job would have to be more of a calling.
How completely stressful to be mother to a brave soldier. Thank you for enduring such worry. I so much appreciate your sacrifice and the sacrifice of your boys. (men)
Patience…sigh. yes dear one, nothing hapens in our time but in His time for His glory…love to you
At least when I found out there faith I was allowed to pray with them if they wanted. I always pray in my mind when they are actually dying. Ive run into the same problems with hospice and not sharing faith. I really appreciate what you do for us and animals. Ive got to find a different kind of nursing though. Its becoming too draining for me. Even though I love it and feel God gave me this gift, it still seems to drain me too much. Im home now trying to recharge my batteries. Please pray for me to have clarity for work. Im my only support and really need to work. Ive applied at an easier job for another company,not hospice, for more pay. Your prayers would be so helpful. Thank you for being here for us. God bless you!!
Pamela I can’t imagine how draining working in hospice would be. I’m praying for you that God would provide and open door and give respite to your weary heart my friend…xo
Robin,
I have chosen my one little Word for 2012 and the post about it is now on Debbie-Dabble.
Thanks so much for the inspiration!!
Hugs,
Debbie
Robin – what an incredible inspiration you are to us all! God bless you for your testimony and witnessing through your blog. I have been hearing alot of gals choosing one word to describe either the past year or their “word” for 2012. For some reason, “Be satisfied in Me” has been tugging at my heart. I want to let go of my greed of “things” and food, and start living deeper in God’s word and being satisfied there. So, thank you for helping me to refocus. I just purchased “One Thousand Gifts” and am so looking forward to reading it.
xoxo laurie
Laurie, I LOVE your thought: “be satisfied in Me” … how everything in life would fall into the proper place if I were completely satisfied in the Father. And your insight about letting go of things is kinda profound, I picture your palms open…letting go and receiving satisfaction in Him as you do…
I’m so excited to hear how One Thousand Gifts impacts your life my friend…xo