Have you ever been around 2 people who pick at each other?
You know the drill, snapping comments and rolling of eyes and under-the-breath snide remarks that make everyone around them uncomfortable. It is most prevalent, I think, in marriage but it also shows up with adult siblings, adult children and parents and even friendships.
This is a pet peeve of mine.
How many of you realize when you have a pet peeve it’s probably because you have a tendency to do that very thing?
Ouch.
I think at some point in every relationship, those things that annoy us about the another person will either become traits of endearment…you know, things we accept in the context of who that person is. Things we laugh about and embrace as a part of the whole person.
Or they will become so irritating that they drive a wedge in the relationship. Becoming pointy cynical issues that turn us into petty people.
I have to prayerfully keep myself in check. I notice the most scant of details and I tend to be quick to get annoyed. But in my relationships I’m determined to be open to the whole person and to love with my whole heart.
OUCH! Wow, you have never even met my family so how did you know? I think we have somewhat embraced the practice but thanks for the reminder of the unhealthiness of it. I am guilty. You have confirmed with me this morning it really is about loving with the whole heart. May we be reminded of this and show this love to those closest and dearest to us! Why is it easier to show love to complete strangers than those who live with us? Thanks Robin!
.-= Tom Raines´s last blog ..Affirmation of God- I love =-.
Tom,
When my mom passed away all the things that annoyed me became endearing in the span of 1 second. I remind myself of this all the time…somehow it helps me smile at a trait that drives me nuts in someone else. (And I hope and pray they do this with all of my very annoying traits!)
I tend to get the most upset with people about the very things I am fighting with or that remind me too much of myself. But I really do tire of those who snipe at each other constantly-whether a husband/wife or church people. Sometimes I just want to bang their heads together and knock some sense into them! The real tragedy is when I do this even before I know all the details. You have a good reminder there robin. Get the facts first. Good thoughts today. Love and hugs to you and that baby.
.-= Bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..The “Issue” =-.
Bill I imagine as a pastor you see this way more than the rest of us. There are often deeper reasons for the behavior you are so right…love to you
Good morning and thank you for reminding me of this. I think we all are guilty of this to some degree because I truly believe that the people who get alopng the worst, it is because they are so much ALIKE! My sister and Mother were a prime example:) Opening our hearts to those closest to us is what we should all strive for. Have a beautiful day. XO, Pinky
Wonderful points to ponder. We will be discussing this tonight at dinner. Loving the whole person with an open heart. What a wonderful gift we could give each other. Happy Wednesday 🙂
Such a good reminder, Robin. For us, its our relationship with our oldest child. His loud and boisterous enthusiasm, ambitious energies, and constant activity are completely the opposite of my own solitude enjoying ways. I have no doubt he is here to teach me how to embrace noise and dirt, amongst other things I am not well acquainted.
Love the whole person with your whole heart, a brilliant mantra. Thanks for this.
.-= Vicky´s last blog ..52 card pick-up =-.
Wow, Robin, after just spending a weekend with my in-laws at the wedding of my sister-in-law this post rings true for me on many levels, especially your pet peeve observation. There are many, many complications in these relationships, and I find myself feeling short tempered at times, but then I remind myself that I do some of the very things that annoy me so much in others. It’s a lesson in humility. I also think it’s easy to focus on what is annoying, but it’s far more pleasurable to focus on the good in people. Maybe it takes a little more effort, especially at large family gatherings, but it is sooooo worth it!
Thanks for the thoughtful post! xo Gigi
.-= Gigi´s last blog ..Legacy V- Inheritance =-.
This is so true… how many funerals have one attended and the banter at the reception ends up being about how much they will miss the lil quirks about that particular person… For the most part it conjurs up good memories…
.-= Jeannie´s last blog ..Hi Dee Ho =-.
it’s difficult at times to hold my tongue with my sister. she knows everything. sometimes i’ m ok then not.
.-= rose´s last blog ..RECAPTURE LIFE =-.