I had a wake up call this week.
My daughter Bethany and her hubby Darren got married in May. They had a small wedding in Charleston. (I blogged about it here) Tonight they are having an Atlanta reception for all the friends and family who didn’t come to Charleston. It’s going to be a big party. Loads of fun food: sliders (tiny burgers!)and Mac and Cheese. Peach Cobbler and Banana Pudding. A DJ and dancing. Friends and family…fun, fun and more fun. The wedding party and the parents of the bride and groom have only to wear the clothes they wore to the wedding in Charleston. No worries.
All I have to do as the MOB(Mother of the Bride) is show up in my MOB dress…hummmm… some of you see this coming. Some of you have warned me. Some of you just hush up now.
On Tuesday morning I pulled out my cute JCrew, freshly dry cleaned MOB dress. Slipped it on and then went to zzziiiip it. Shoot. Ziiiiipppp it. REALLY? Zip darn-it…It zipped but let’s just say in order to take a deep breath, I would have to unzip.
I stood there in front of the mirror zombie like for a full five minutes. Then I unzipped the dress and started muttering to myself. I don’t remember what I said exactly…something like, you have GOT to be kidding me. For the love of pete and all that’s holy how did my dress shrink? I’m suing the dry-cleaner. How dare he shrink my MOB dress …
(This is me on the left and my bud Sharon who just happens to be the Mom-of -the Groom! The dress fit that one day in May.)
Then I called Stephanie. She and Snookums picked me up and we went straight to Macy’s, all the while she’s telling me:
“It’s okay Mom. You hated that dress anyway. We’ll find another one on sale and you’ll like it more. Or you could just buy some Spanx and see if that helps with your zipper on the old dress.”
My eyes narrowed and I gave Stephie my most evil look at the very mention of Spanx. I know some people love Spanx. I am not one of them. I’ve worn them, I tell you, and I won’t go into detail about where they weaseled their way into for the entire 4 hours that I had them on. I also won’t go into detail about me peeling them off in the fancy powder-room of the reception hall and stuffing them in my tiny evening bag because I was about to have a Petite Mal seizure from all the constriction and shallow breathing. Anyhoo…
When I got home from Macy’s (sans a new dress) I was dying to tell Bethany. After all, this was her reception therefore her fault. But she didn’t answer her phone. So I sent up a smoke signal…better known these days as: I wrote on her facebook wall. This is what I wrote:
I have to tell you something…something bad. Something catastrophic. Something hideous. Something that may change everything. EVERYTHING I tell ya. It’s horrific. Call me if you dare.
She called in 60 seconds. I’m nothing if not manipulative with my daughters. Don’t feel sorry for them. It works both ways.
I told her about my dress. She said something similar to what Stephie said. “Mom, I bet you can get into the dress. But if not, go on JCrew.com and overnight a new one.” Hummmmmmm.
The next morning at the gym lifting weights with Ruthie, between her screams of “One more! Come on you can do it!” I told my evil friend-personal trainer about my dress situation. I told her what Bethany and Stephanie had the nerve to say. Ruth put her hand on her hip and squinted and said,” exactly what did you expect them to say”?
I already had an answer to this. I fully expected Bethany to say she would of course cancel the entire reception until which time I could squeeze my ample rear-end back into my MOB dress…
“You ARE kidding, right?” Ruth asked .
“A mother can dream” I said under my breath.
Ruthie and her daughter Kayla went with me after our workout to get another dress. I bought a nice one in a bigger size. It’s brown. I made an inner vow at some point in 2007 that I would NEVER again buy another brown dress as that’s the only color dress I’ve owned since early 1982…oh well.
Apparently the reception will go on and I will be there in a brand new larger MOB dress.
I’ll be making a few changes in the coming weeks to my stinkin lifestyle. Baking 3 times a week and ditching the gym is a sure fire formula for increasing your upper inner thighs.
I’ll let you know what I come up with, but it suffices to say it will have something to do with hitting the gym more regularly and cooking a few more healthy dishes. In the mean time I plan on easily zipping up my big new dress tonight, scarfing down a few sliders and dancing the night away jiggling all the while.
All this to say…I’ll be back next week with a new plan. TTFN Peeps. Love and happy weekend!
Take good care of the new dress. I’ll want to borrow anything brown and shiny. 🙂 I couldn’t have worn navy blue anyway. Dont’ forget to take your BF–your new camera!! And have someone take lots of you in our new dress.
Robin! How fun to see your funny side in all its glory! That was hilarious 🙂 Drycleaners have been known to shrink things, I’m jus sayin… I hope you have a fabulous time in your shiny new dress, eating sliders and dancing the night away! Can’t wait to hear all about it next week 🙂
.-= Vicky´s last blog ..Saying hello… to goodbye =-.
I love it!!! So funny! It’s ok! You will get back in that dress!
.-= Tippa´s last blog ..The decision… =-.
Oh Mom if you had asked me nicely with a cherry on top I would have canceled the whole party tonight!! 🙂 I love you!
First of all, you looked amazing when I saw you a few weeks ago, so it probably was the dry cleaners! 🙂 Thanks for the smile this morning. Have a great time tonight!
.-= Vanessa´s last blog ..Preacha’ Boy =-.
Okay, I’m thinking, “What? Did she have to get a 2 to replace the 0?” You are tiny Robin! I certainly understand the stress over something no longer fitting, but I’m telling you, one size bigger than that is still tiny! That is, if it wasn’t the dry cleaner’s but I’m sure it was. Also, I hear brown dresses run small.
.-= Anita´s last blog ..I’d like to go to ____, but _____. =-.
I love the FB distress call. And how quickly you received a response. Very funny stuff. Enjoy your new dress, family, food, and dancing fun. Blessings, SusanD
.-= SusanD´s last blog ..Thankful Thursday – 8/6/09 =-.
Hahaha… you crack me up! Have a great time tonight and dance away my friend! I love to dance! 🙂 Oh and I know dry cleaners can shrink things, my SIL works for one! Just saying… 😉
.-= Chele´s last blog ..Friday’s Blessings =-.
I’m certain it WAS the dry cleaners….they are evil and take all your money. The want to take over the world.
I’m certain that you will have a fabulous time tonight and that the dress will not be what you remember most. Although now that you’ve blogged about it AND sent out distress signals, it may not as easily be forgotten. Ugh, that exercise thing and healthy food thing is just NOT as fun, is it????
Suzanne
.-= suzanne´s last blog ..Some bookcase ideas for you….. =-.
I know it was the dry cleaners! They shrunk a CHAIR COVER that we had to reorder and they only paid for half of it!!! THAT was one expensive cleaning I tell you what! Plus, you look fabulous to me! What people will see is you, because you are one unforgettable person! Love you, dani
Honey, that was the best! I am LOL! I, too, am SURE it was the dry cleaner! You look MAHVELOUS darlin!!!!! Hope you have a BLAST tonight dancing and scarfing:):) I’ll be thinkin about you! Hugs, Pinky
Oh my, Robin, that was the funniest thing I’ve heard all week. Sorry, I’m laughing with you not at you. I gain weight just looking at all your yummy dishes that you post. I can imagine getting to eat them in real life. I’d be 5 ft. tall and 5 ft. wide for sure! I’m sure you looked amazing in the brown dress. Dont’ be too hard on yourself. Thank you for the giggle!
Blessings,
Marie
.-= Marie´s last blog ..grampa’s hutch & feathered friends =-.
this story shows just how real you are, dear! not many would post such stuff, and i give you props for doing so. i want to see a pic of you and husband in the new garb!
btw, this won’t help your quest at all, but you HAVE to check out PW’s site today. she’s giving away a cooking weekend at the Lodge for 4 TK members. i know you’re one and so am i. what might be the odds we’d win?! only 9,998 others to compete against!
.-= jenn´s last blog ..Distracted? Who’s Distracted? I’m Cleaning. Promise. =-.
You kill me! Your honesty makes me smile. I think you are brave. You are a beautiful woman! Crazy things happen at those dry cleaners. Have a great weekend.
This is the cutest story. I can’t wait to go and visit about the wedding. I will try to do that tomorrow. Hope you get into the dress. It looked beautiful on you.
.-= valerie´s last blog ..And They Say It Is Easy =-.