Yesterday I wrote about the subtle drift into denial. (HERE)
Today, I want you to float along with me to the place where denial always loses altitude.
That place is called Consequences.
Or as I like to call it: Severe Mercy.
Richard Paul Evans says, “you can deny reality but you can’t deny the consequences of reality“.
In the past, I’ve not been a big fan of consequences. (At least the consequences of poor choices.)
Just the mention of the word and I feel like you do when a police car suddenly appears in your rear-view mirror. A fitful mix of fear and panic.
But time and time again I journey into denial and assume that my destination will be different. That the logical consequences for my poor choices won’t happen to me. I’ll beat the odds and touch ground somewhere just on the other side.
But never once, has that happened.
And I have to say with a bit of trepidation…I’m thankful.
These days I see consequences a bit differently. I see consequences as mercy.
I believe God in His (sometimes severe) mercy allows the consequences of our actions to free us from the destructive pull of denial. And put us safely on secure ground.
How would the story of the Prodigal Son have ended if the he was bailed out at just the moment his inheritance went dry? What if he’d never eaten the slop with the pigs? How do you suppose the rest of his life would have gone? But more importantly, how about his eternal life?
Severe Mercy has been home for me on so many occasions but always I leave there changed. One of the biggest changes came several years ago when I quit drinking. Living with the consequences was excruciating but also exhilarating. While living in denial I’d almost forgotten how to live in reality. I found out that I like living real. I’ve never been more thankful for the severe mercy of God.
Hitting bottom is not a tragedy if it causes positive change.
Severe mercy is still mercy my Friends…
Have you had severe mercy in your life that caused a change for the better?
*****
Love and prayers to each and every one who reads this today…
Powerful, Robin. I’m a long time Al-Anon lover. I’ve experienced the consequences of what taking care of/trying to fix/help others does to me. For years I didn’t see how my behavior (which felt so right) didn’t help others and hurt me. It brought consequences to my health, my spiritual life, my peace. I stop living.
I love your sentence, “Severe Mercy is still mercy, my friends.”
Beautiful.
Julie: always amazes me how those who want to help often get hurt so much. But our desire to help makes us so vulnerable. Where do we put on the brakes? What will they think of me? Tough questions and tough decisions. I applaud your ability to see what was happening.
.-= Bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..Jumping to Conclusions =-.
First, great post Robin. With that out of the way…a comment or two. I am a “fixer.” I think you know what that means: I want to fix peoples’ lives. I want to see the good in all people (not a bad idea) but also that with my involvement they will get better. I became an enabler to some. It also opened me up to a side of me I would just as soon forget exists (yep still does). I put myself in situations I had no business being in because I could not fix them! No way no how!! And yet, I thought I could. Only the severe mercy of God rescued me from that pit. But because of that I have become aware of the “fixer” mentality and the desire to never go there again. I still want to help people but I have learned to be much more cautious. Again, good post. Love, hugs and prayers to you today.
Dang girl. Apparently, severe mercy causes an enlarged heart…so to speak. Thanks for once again sharing your huge heart and life. I too am so thankful to God is such a weird way for my alcoholism. Without it taking me down and His severe mercy I know I would not know Him near as intimately. I totaly agree that living in that denial made me not even know what reality was. I lived a lie so long that I lost touch with the truth. Thanks for the hope for I know in my weakness I found my purpose.
Such healing in honesty… thank you!!!
.-= Tom Raines´s last blog ..Today’s Affirmation: I meditate within my heart and my spirit searches diligently for the answers. =-.
Tom: loved the statement “such healing in honesty.” If we would only learn…
.-= Bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..Jumping to Conclusions =-.
Thanks, Bill. It’s still a daily process b/c what feels right, normal, natural for me is usually just the opposite. I went to Al-Anon doubting I had the problem. It was them, they needed help, not me. 🙂
I don’t go a day without reading from my Al-Anon books. I know where I’ve been and I don’t want to go back.
Beautiful sentence, Tom….”in my weakness I found purpose.”
Julie, thank you from the Al-Anon perspective. I find it painful and emotional to type those words more so than Alcoholism. Although my heart jumps in the fact that in my weakness I found purpose, this same heart breaks at the “severe mercy” I caused others to endure. The emotions I feel show I still need to make some amends and confess my debts of gratitude for those who had to endure this mercy because of my actions.
.-= Tom Raines´s last blog ..Today’s Affirmation: I meditate within my heart and my spirit searches diligently for the answers. =-.
What a powerful and insightful post, Robin. You’ve given me a lot to think about today. Thank you for sharing.
Blessings.
Jean
.-= Jean Fischer´s last blog ..Running Late =-.
Wow, there is such truth here, it will take reading this several times to fully ingest it all, and think thru it. Girl, what a powerful message. You’re right….mercy is often disguised as hardship, but sweet in the end. Oh, that we would be more grateful for HIS hidden mercies!
suzanne
.-= suzanne´s last blog ..Tuesday’s terrific randomness! =-.
Great post… I believe the Spirit is moving among the people and opening up their hearts to Wisdom, I had the Lord say something to me last night after I was having a WOES is ME why are my kids this way and where is my Joy… but I woke up this morning and feel a bit better…
.-= Jeannie´s last blog ..Behold That Which I have Seen… =-.
Along with Julie, I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon. Both of my parents were alcoholics, my Dad died when I was 4 froma barbituate overdose. Both of my children have been addicted to alcohol and/or prescription drugs and thankfully, they are both in recovery and SO AM I!!!! I was the QUEEN of enablers. Thank God I now realize I was helping NOONE!!! And hurting alot. I so appreciate your gut wrenching homesty. You are a true inspiration. XOXO, Pinky
Tom, you know what? My helping/fixing/trying to contol probably damaged people in family who struggle with drugs/alcohol. I didn’t have the guts to back off–to let go and let God. That took a long time. Some habits are hard to break. 🙂 It was much more comfortable for me to try and play god. In a way, my helping hurt them–and definately hurt me too. Life’s such a learning process, isn’t it!
The beauty is when one of us stops this crazy cycle, it seems others follow along–when they’re ready.
Bravo to you!! Sounds like you are a kind man with a tender spirit who’s winning his battles and making amends.
I hear you Pinky. I understand. 🙂
Congrats to you for quitting drinking. I know it is hard. That was a very powerful post. I need to go back and read it again. Love & blessings from NC!
.-= Melinda´s last blog ..Fabric Heaven!! =-.
thank you so much, robin ~
your words are spot on … and i am taken with ‘you can deny reality, but you can’t deny the consequences of reality’ … something to share with one of our
seventeen year olds … in my age, i get it ~ i pray he will get it sooner than later!
an old friend, who is an alcoholic, but has been sober for many many years taught me a great deal about alcoholism and through his teachings and the grace of god, i have gratefully been able to provide insight and help to some who i recognize are drowning and am able to assist in showing them the shoreline … a blessing
god gives us gifts in everything and everyone, we just have to be open to accept them …
you are one of his gifts, robin …
xo pg
ummm, gulp…… soo powerful.
such a gift you have. ‘sigh’
xxo, kim
.-= kim klassen´s last blog ..another plug for the ‘skinny’ =-.
Robin, you are so transparent. I was dealing with a blog on consequences not long ago and a lady wrote me a page and one half letter explaining that she was sorry about how I had always had things easy………..etc, etc, etc. She indicated that she did not believe that a loving God would allow a person to be “punished.” Maybe consequences and punishment go hand in hand. On the contrary, my life has not been live without some consequences. My son used an illustration in his sermon tonight, saying, “We are live our lives sowing wild oats through the week and go to church on Sunday and pray for crop failure.” It is too true of all of us at time. I thank God for him Grace and Mercy. You know it take the same grace to keep us where we need to be as it take to get us out of the mess we could have been in. We all are object of His Grace. Again. I love you.
.-= patsy´s last blog ..Romans 1:1 BEING RELIGIOUS ? BEING CHRISTIAN? =-.
This was so good, love. I think the point of us loving Him is that He wants us to out of our own volition… not just because of what He can do for us. So He steps back and lets us choose, and fail, and suffer consequences. But He is always there, loving us and forgiving us. Hard lessons to learn, but ones that sustain us.
.-= gitz´s last blog ..Gettin’ All Scrappy =-.
Robin, what a powerful post. I agree with Prairiegirl, you are one of God’s gifts.
Thank you for sharing your heart. It shines a light of hope for others who are struggling with similar problems.
This was at the bottom of todays blog post and I jumped over. Glad I did. I like the remonder. You ARE a gift, for sure!XOXO