Summer…
That glorious season book-ended by gentle breezes and sweltering heat with long sunny days tucked in between.
Every summer has familiar bliss…
For me, it’s a chorus of cicadas giving music to midnight and the ocean’s roar singing bold at dawn.
It’s tasting the sweet from a juicy Georgia peach…
Or feeling sugar white sand between my toes.
Those things are fixtures of the season, but every summer also has it’s own unique personality, mostly made up by the things I do, the people I spend time with and the lessons I learn…
This summer is a little different for me.
My body is in the process of healing after the diagnosis of Celiac Disease.
To help the healing, one of my doctors has me getting iron infusions.
I had my third one earlier this week.
When I get them, I sit next to a window, as energy in the form of iron drips into my vein.
All around me are people getting chemotherapy.
They are fighting for their health. Some for their lives.
I’ve met a few. One, a delightful 80 year old woman, Ava* who has stage 3 lung cancer. She’s small in frame with a head full of gray curly hair which she’s hoping to hold on to. Eva has twinkling eyes and a mischievous smirk.
“So. What kind of cancer do you have?” She’s looking at me wide eyed and I’m shocked at the question. I’ve been sitting quietly and wondering what kind of cancer she has but wouldn’t dare ask her. Isn’t there a rule about patient confidentially or something?
“I have Celiac Disease. I’m just here getting iron infusions because my body isn’t absorbing nutrients at the moment”. My voice lowers, “I don’t have cancer” I stop just short of apologizing as my fingers squeeze tight around the spine of my book.
“Oh”.
She’s mater-of-fact when she continues, “I have stage 3 lung cancer. But I’m a survivor”.
There’s no time for me to respond before she goes on…
“I gave birth to seven children, lost a daughter at four months old to crib death, one at six” she pauses and lets out a slow breath, “she was run over by a car, my twenty-five year old son committed suicide and while we were traveling, my husband died of a heart attack. He was only 50 . During every one of those things I was sure I wouldn’t survive. But I did. And I’ll survive this too, one way or another. “
My mouth opened to speak but there were no words. How in heaven’s name could this woman be sitting here in her right mind after living through such loss…
Suddenly the words came and they flew out of my mouth, because I had to know, “Can you tell me how you survived”?
She looked at me with eyes moist, “I guess it’s because when I used to go to church” her voice is almost a whisper now, ” I was taught that the day you’re born and the day you die is planned by God. I never could understand all that, It’s way over my head. But there’s a lot of things I believe that I don’t understand.
She goes on sounding a bit spunky, “like how this chemo kills my cancer”.
Gingerly Ava lifts the IV tube a little above her port and holds it towards me. “I’m telling you, sitting here week after week, counting on that” she points up at the small IV bag, “whatever it is in there, to shrink all this cancer… well, that takes a leap of faith”.
Letting go of the IV tube and looking straight ahead her words trail off and I can’t tell if she’s still talking to me or to herself…
“I’m old enough to have learned that I don’t have to understand something to believe it”.
*****
We sit quietly for awhile. Ava crocheting while I marvel at the way this summer is unfolding.
Marvel at God so gently teaching me more and more about my one-little-word.
Marvel that I’m slowly learning to believe…
*****
What’s God teaching you this summer my sweet friends?
*name changed
Dani Bentle says
July 15, 2011 at 10:45 amThanks Robin. Really puts life into perspective. Praying your iron infusions give you the strength you need and the ability to absorb nutrients again.
He’s teaching me that He restores and makes all things new. The road is narrow and sometimes hard to walk, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but with HIM.
Love you,
Dani
asnipofgoodness says
July 15, 2011 at 11:13 amA summer learning more about Him, more wonderful then a summer doing anything else! Thank you for Eva’s story, what a outrageous testiment to God’s power, not to mention the wisdom we can glean from the elderly!
Gina says
July 15, 2011 at 11:24 amI haven’t even started reading the book yet but I am thanking God for you today. 🙂 Such beautiful writing. I love to see how He is working in your life and using you to encourage others. What a beautiful story today. 🙂
Kait says
July 15, 2011 at 11:27 amCeliacs is hard to come to terms with at first. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have so many close friends with it, one who diagnosed around the same time as I, I wouldn’t be dealing with it as well as I am.
& that little old lady. Oh she brought tears to my eyes! How sweet & brave. It really made my day. I can’t believe dealing with even half the stuff she has had to!
jenn says
July 15, 2011 at 12:00 pmi’m learning that you really can focus forward one day at a time. not going ahead of today has been working well for me of late.
i want to know where in the world you saw a basket THAT BIG of peaches for only $2!!! i want one!
thanks for sharing. it made me smile to see this in my reader…
Robin says
July 16, 2011 at 1:41 pmJenn…love your summer lesson…the peaches were at the farmers market in Marietta! (But I took the photo last year!)xo
Beth says
July 15, 2011 at 3:48 pmThanks for this post! My Mamaw (mom’s mom) just died June 10, from lung cancer. I can’t think of many worse ways to see someone I love go. Last year at this time I thought she was healthy. She still worked, just because she loved her job so much & liked to stay busy. Last year at this time she was canning vegetables. She had been sick with bronchitis off and on & went to the Dr. In October we found out it was stage 4 lung cancer. She was 72 yrs old. But somehow, I have a peace now, knowing she is with the Lord. I’m glad I have peace, because missing her and thinking about how she suffered, AND not having peace…. I don’t know if I could handle that. Anyway, didn’t mean to be a downer, this post was just very timely. Praying for you & Eva!
Robin says
July 16, 2011 at 1:41 pmBeth…hugs and prayers my friend. You weren’t a downer…you’re grieving, and grieving is a journey…I’ll pray for you as you travel through it . xo
dad ~ says
July 15, 2011 at 5:50 pmAmazing how our Heavenly Father sends us blessings. This one through Eva – not her
real name – probably Faith or Hope or Charity, maybe Grace…..
“I don’t have to understand something to BELIEVE it.” Amen Ms Eva….amen ~
Pinky says
July 15, 2011 at 11:07 pmI am learning to trust, trust God, just trust. It is hard. I get set back over and over but I, like Eva, am trying to survive. XOXO, Pinky
Julie Garmon says
July 16, 2011 at 8:36 amI read this slowly, inch-by-inch, knowing you were sending me a powerful message–the whole time, I’m right there with you and Eva. What an incredible line…”I’m old enough to know I don’t have to understand something to believe it.” The essence of Faith. One of my favorite posts. So, So glad you wrote it.
My love.
Linda @ A Toile Tale says
July 16, 2011 at 10:30 amRobin –
It’s so good to read your post. I’ve missed them. I salute you for your faithful journey this summer. I know you have a lot of joy and a lot of stress. This post is especially meaningful to me, as I have several friends who are dealing with cancer and I’m trying to be a sensitive friend in my relationship with them. I wish you a short and straight road back to health. Isn’t it time for another cup of coffee at Starbucks?
Linda @ A Toile Tale
Robin says
July 16, 2011 at 1:39 pmLinda! I was just thinking about you yesterday when I went into the bank!!! I’d love to see you soon…how’s your mom? xo
CAS says
July 16, 2011 at 11:12 amThis is a truly beautiful post. I believe, but still question, that all things happen for a reason. Whether they are pre-ordained by God, or whether we are driven by some other force to do things a certain way because that’s the way they are supposed to happen, I don’t know. Good luck to you with the Celiac’s disease and with your new friend, Eva.
xo, CAS
Robin says
July 16, 2011 at 1:37 pmCAS…I understand your questioning. I was raised in a church that put the responsibility squarely on my shoulders…I was filled with fear for my whole life. Fear and insecurity…I’m just now at 50 rejecting that teaching and embracing God’s sovereignty in a way I never did before. But everyone has to find their own way and embrace their own beliefs…love to you~xo
Lisa says
July 16, 2011 at 11:14 amThanks for sharing!! I shared it on my FB as I know others will find it beautiful as well.
Tom says
July 16, 2011 at 1:21 pmWow, so powerful! God does reveal Himself in each of our stories doesnt he?! We dont need to understand and he sends us His messengers and His message. Thanks Robin!
nella says
July 16, 2011 at 3:21 pmsummer lesson…. i guess i didnt have it yet this year… i hope i wont have to learn about proportions thrue suffering of other people….
have a grate week
nella says
July 16, 2011 at 3:33 pmohhh yes now i remmember
! i had a lesson…… got tought me that i need people around me and that they are important to me more then i thought
Marydon says
July 17, 2011 at 12:40 amG’eve Robin ~
What a fabulous power packed share. I know you are going thru a tough time. May this be under control for you soon. I have Crohn’s disease & have to have iron every single day.
I will remember you in my prayers.
TFN ~
Hugs,
Marydon
Vicki says
July 17, 2011 at 12:54 pmFabulous, inspiring post. Faith, in my opinion, is the BIGGEST mystery of all. But, I hold tight to it daily. Thank you for your inspiration and sharing your story and these Godly messages. I am truly touched. I hope your journey takes you on an amazing journey, and I hope your body heals in God’s time. Much love my friend!!
gitz says
July 17, 2011 at 9:53 pmthose words she said… about Him knowing when we are born to when we die… i’ve had to remind myself of that so much in the last year. that it was planned, him dying was planned, me being here and sick was planned…
…it helps me to remind myself that it’s all intentional. you sitting there, with her, was intentional, too. but it was up to you to have the conversation. and that’s beautiful.
Rena says
July 17, 2011 at 10:12 pmThank you for sharing this touching story. This has been a summer of waiting for me. Waiting to know if the contract my husband manages will be renewed. Waiting for our newest grandchild, Matthew arrived on June 29th. Waiting for renters to move out so we can sell our old house. Waiting to close my mothers estate. However God is teaching me to be content with my life just as it is. It has been difficult to not be in control of these things but I am trying to be still and trust that He knows what is best for me. Hope you are feeling better each day. My granddaughter has really blossomed since her CD diagnoses – but she hadn’t been sick but a few months.
m. says
July 18, 2011 at 3:08 pmI stumbled across your blog, because of a tutorial. This post brought tears to my eyes. Isn’t it amazing the people who are brought into our lives, for every purpose… large and small. 🙂
MarieElizabeth says
July 20, 2011 at 10:33 pmWow, what a moment. She’s right though, I too have learned that believing is my job, understanding is sometimes left to others. I don’t always handle it as gracefully as she has, but this is a good reminder to try a little harder next time. Sending you positive vibes to speed up your healing…although I think you are getting more than one kind of healing these days and that part I wouldn’t wish you to rush through.
Jean Fischer says
July 23, 2011 at 3:27 pmRobin, my summer lesson from God has been to live one day at a time and, like Jesus said, to stop worrying about tomorrow. My brief encounter with cancer last year taught me a lot. I sometimes feel guilt around others whose cancer is not gone. I have to really work at refocusing my survivor guilt into thanksgiving and praise for the blessings that God chose for me. I don’t know what the future holds; hopefully, I’m done with cancer. I know that God is good, and He is in control, constantly guiding me and teaching me. Whatever each new day holds, I will spend it with Him.