“Lots of things would shatter my world, but “that’s” not one of them…”
I said this last year on two different occasions about the same thing.
Can you see “it” coming?
I was referring to someone’s young, single daughter getting pregnant.
Last month our baby, Emma, told us she was pregnant. Emma’s actually not a baby. She’ll be 24 this year.
Emma’s not married. Now, when I said the silly thing about this not being my issue, Emma was engaged to a young man who had been in our family for 5 years. The Husband and I loved him like he was our own kid. So if Emma had gotten pregnant before they got married…well, moral issues aside, we would have very quickly been thrilled. Why? Because her life was on a certain course and a baby would have been in their future anyway.
But Emma ended her engagement and started dating someone on and off that we didn’t know very well. (Actually, not at all)
And at the time she got pregnant they were “broken up”. So this news felt like I’d imagine getting hit by a tractor trailer would feel. I’m not trying to be negative but the truth is, her life from all the information we had, was on one course when actually … she was going in a very different direction.
I won’t go into any more details but after many tears, lots of talking and many sleepless nights, we’re so very thankful that we’ll have another grandchild in October~
I’m sharing this for two reasons…
First, When I write from my heart I find it difficult not to be honest. I’m drawn to and inspired by flawed people living with purpose in the middle of their not-so-perfect lives. My prayer every single day is that someone may come here and find a bit of inspiration or even hope from my not-so-perfect life.
Second, so many of my precious online friends have reached out to me over the past few weeks, knowing something was wrong in my world but not knowing exactly what. I’m so humbled by the love and encouraging words and prayers.
But I share this with fear and trembling…
Some of you reading this have strong beliefs about sex before marriage. Some of you have tiny tots running around and you are raising them with a strong set of morals. One of them being: no sex before marriage.
I understand completely. Because that’s what we did.
Please, not for my sake, but for yours…don’t judge. Take it from me…judging someone never ends well.
Others of you don’t have these convictions and may be thinking I need to just get over myself. (You’re probably right about that by the way) It’s Emma’s life. It’s Emma’s choice. Just support her.
I understand this too. And after a few rocky weeks, that’s just what I’m doing.
No matter where you’re coming from, can I just say thank you for your sweet support these past several weeks. I want to find a way to tell you how I’m encouraged and given hope by your words…but I keep coming up short.
Love from the bottom of my tiny heart. And hugs. I’m a hugger…so hugs.
Going forward there are many, many decisions that Emma has to make so a prayer here and there for her (and our new baby) would be so tenderly appreciated.
xoxo
I’m going to leave you with a song that my most precious blog-friend Sara (Gitzen Girl) sent me when I sent out an SOS asking her and a few others to pray. I’ve listened to this song every day since. It’s become a bit of a lifeline.
Felt something was wrong Robin but knew that you had to work through it in your own way/time. I applaud you and Mike hanging with Emma through this, even though it was/is heart-wrenching. Now is not the time to judge by anyone-those who are against sex outside of marriage or those who are “whatever.” It is the time for grace. As you know, I pray for you each day and have been praying for Emma also (not even knowing). Now I do and will continue to do so in a more specific way. Love and hugs to you today.
.-= Bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..I Think I’m Learning =-.
Bill, thank you my friend. I so value your friendship. love and hugs right back at cha.
I have come here so many times for what you supply, Hope and Inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your most personal feelings and concerns from your heart. Give Emma a hug for me. We have to love and support each other regardless of the circumstances. While a baby was not in Emma’s plan at this time, it is a gift from God to be accepted. I became pregnant at the age of fifteen and without the support of my family, I am not sure how my life would have turned out. I was so embarrassed and ashamed, for myself and for the shame I felt I had brought upon my parents. When my little boy was born, I gave him my heart and tried to be the best mother I could be. He became my world. God is our judge not man. I know how much you and Mike love Emma and I know this baby will be loved beyond measure.
I love you!
Brenda…how long have I know you? And I had no idea about your young pregnancy. Thank you for sharing. Truly. love you to pieces.
Sharing as you did today is a gift you give the world and many will find comfort and acceptance they might never find in their daily lives.
Emma is blessed to have you and Mike as parents. I know you will have another precious grandbaby to love on and they will both be blessed by your love.
Thank you Ruthie. Love u
Nothing “tiny” about your heart. God has taken residence there and made your heart our home. Thanks for your transparency and courage. I am sure these few words can’t begin to scratch the surface of the thoughts and emotions you have had to process. He is faithful. This child will be most blessed to have you and Mike and we will continue to pray. Deep abiding love and grace is so sweet, isn’t it?!
Love the “just watch and see” in the song. He will, once again, show Himself to us in ALL things.
Tom, thank you for the constant encouragement and unconditional acceptance.
Hi Robin, As I was looking at the blogger buttons on my side bar I saw yours and thought I would pop in and visit. My heart goes out to you and your family a friend of mine has been going through something similar except her daughter is only 17. My friend went through so many mixed emotions but she stood by her daughter and she is now a Grandma of a beautiful baby boy and her relationship with her daughter is so much stronger. God gives us beauty for our ashes and I have been so blessed to see the ashes in my friends life turn to a beauty that is so precious. I don’t know you Robin, but I want to encourage you in this new path to see the beauty.
You and your family will be in my prayers 🙂
May you feel the arms of God holding you through this time.
Hugs
Melly:)
Melly, I’m so glad you dropped in this morning. I’m so encouraged by your friend’s story. Thank you for bringing hope with your words. And thank you for your prayers…xoxo
well after reading a short few lines off this true story on facebook i clicked on the title and it brought me here [ to your blog ]. i first want to say something you might find strange,,, Congratulation’s family , i am happy that you , mike & emily [ can’t change her name in my head ] emma , are all in this together . maybe this wasn’t a well thought out / planned thing to do at this time in her life ,BUT i say oh well stuff happens and babies come our way !!!!! i would’nt dream of judging her , you or anyone else for that matter . judge them about what i say ?? i have in the past not used such good judgement and i’m sure in the future my judgement won’t be perfect !! but i say” Thank You Father God for allowing robin & mike to have raised a daughter that would never even think of not bringing her beautiful baby into this our wonderful world you have given us , in JESUS name I pray,A’men”’ i will remember all of you in my prayers !! love , ginger
Ginger, since the day I met you, you’ve been so full of love. Thank you for giving me some today…xoxo
well my dear friend i’m glad to be full of love and happy to share with you today ,[ i could be full of something else , i choose LoVe ] your an amazing friend , wife , mother , daughter , teacher , EtC.. can you even begin to wonder what the young people of today have to face when they don’t have moms & dad’s that Love them 100% no matter what comes our way ? i try not to think about it because without knowing the Love of JESUS , my parents and the Love i have for MY boys this world would be a very scary place to live .. smoochie , smooch !!!
I agree Robin………you have a HUGE heart! I’m so glad you found the strength to share this news with everyone…..I think that in itself will be of some relief for you. This may not have been the path Emma (or you) had planned….but she’s 24, not a teenager…..and you all will get thru this and just think of the joy another baby is going to bring to the family!!
I’ll continue to pray for all of you my friend!?
.-= TidyMom´s last blog ..{Cheap} Wall Art =-.
Cheryl (Tidy Mom)
Thank you for listening friend. And for encouraging. xoxo
What a great Mama Emma has.
.-= Celesta´s last blog ..Moment upon moment =-.
Celesta…thanks Sweetie. 🙂
Wow, are we on parallel paths, with different circumstances? I know my son is saved but I also know he is very far away from God right now and making some horrible choices. But he is God’s not mine and I can do is pray for him, but I can’t “fix” it or make him change; he is an adult. It’s still hard isn’t it? It’s hard to be a parent and watch your adult child make choices you don’t agree with and know will bring heartbreak at some point.
In our bible study a couple of weeks ago, someone used the illustration of a guy walking on a tight rope over a waterfall pushing a wheel barrow, then asking the crowd if they thought he could push someone in the wheel barrow, they all thought he could but when he asked for volunteers to get in the wheel barrow, no one wanted to. I decided being a parent is having your kid get in the wheel barrow to cross the falls while you watch, it’s hard, but God is bigger than the situation.
I’ll be praying for you and your family.
Cindy, I’ll be praying for your family. I love the tight rope-waterfall-wheel barrow!!!! WOW! Good picture.
xoxo
Supporting Emma is so much harder to do than being upset with her. Being disapointed with this news is your initial reaction but forcing yourself to support her and be there for her is something you have to work on. I am so proud of you for doing so. While our future was a LITTLE more certain, Wes & I could not have gotten through our pregnancy without the love and constant support of our families. Over the last two years I have learned that as a family, both immidiate & extended, we can make anything work if we support each other! You are so brave Robin and she is very lucky to have you as a mother!
Colleen…I love you. We have a pretty tight family don’t we? Thank God in heaven. xoxo
A covenant God reconciles His children even when they stray. A father welcomes home his prodigal son with open arms even when he has truly blown it. A man named Hosea is called to rescue and marry a harlot. This is mercy and grace shown in the Scriptures; God has equipped you and hubby to extend that same grace to many around you…..especially your children. Bless you for modeling HIS heart to those around you. It isn’t easy, it isn’t cheap, but you will be blessed. Praying for your sweet family.
Suzanne
.-= suzanne´s last blog ..It’s time to start thinking about EASTER eggs!!!! =-.
Suzanne…love the picture of the Father with open arms outstretched to the prodigal…I’ve been that prodigal several times…thank you for such vivid reminders…hugs friend
Robin…
Blessings can come in many different forms, can’t they?…Emma will always remember the love you show her during this time…it will strengthen the bond between you! Thank you for sharing your heart and being real with us…that is what life is all about…God is going to use this and I am sure He already has…the hardest part is us letting go and letting Him use us in life’s obstacles.
Sending lots of gentle side hugs your way and lots of love…this baby will be so precious to all of you and won’t be wanting for love and acceptance, I am sure. Your family seems like it has alot of love to share…
Jennifer
.-= Jennifer Clause´s last blog ..ANOTHER DAY AT THE PLASTIC SURGEON… =-.
Jennifer…thank you for taking time to write. You’ve certainly got a lot on your plate right now 🙂
Yes, blessings come in many different forms. And God seems to love turning lives around. love to you and very gentle side hugs right back 🙂
Your blog is always so touching. After my own sleepless night, particularly so. It is so easy when your children are small to think you can protect them from all that is bad, including their own decisions. I had this idea that when kids were “grown” it would be easier… not so. Thank you for sharing your struggle. Thoughts and prayers…
Ellen…I just KNEW I could protect my children from all the bad. Such a reality check when I realized they’ll learn just like I did…from mistakes.
Wow, you have some pretty awesome friends on here mom.
I just want to agree with everyone else that your heart is not tiny…its huge and i’m so blessed to have you as my mom. You have no idea how important you are to me. You and Dad both…if i didn’t have my family i would be so lost. I love you so much…
.-= emma´s last blog ..Kellie and Eric =-.
Em Bear…love you.
Hey, Miss Em… Just wanted you to know you’ve been in my heart and my prayers since your mom told me your news. I know there’s a lot of stuff to figure out, but the one thing that’s certain is you will be a wonderful mom to a very sweet babe. And you have many people ready to cheer you on. Just take your time and let God guide your steps.
.-= gitz´s last blog ..Gitz Bits 2010: Week 9 =-.
Just wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you and your family. I could sense something was going on as well but knew you would share when/if you were ready. Babies are blessings. Emma is blessed to have the support of her family and you and Mike are blessed to be adding another grandbaby! Everything will be okay. Hugs!
Sharon…thanks bunches old friend for the encouragement. I love that you ended w/ : “everything will be okay” sometimes even adults need to hear someone say that …xoxo
Your gift of sharing your heart will once again touch so many and, I’m sure, in some cases, allow someone’s else heart to open up and breathe just a bit again. So many out there have been going through the same thing, if not, something else that has just rocked their world and yet, it’s so frightening to open up and expose yourself to someone’s else opinion and judgement. Thank you for being willing to open the door and may we NEVER EVER judge someone else until we have walk in the exact shoes they are walking in. There but by the grace of God go each and every one of us. Your sweet Emma will be giving you an amazing gift soon, not in the way you expected it , or in raw honesty, the way you probably would have chosen to receive it – and yet it will come and we will all rejoice with you!
Yippers, I’ve written yet another epistle – you just have a way of making us feel free to share. So thankful to have found this safe haven.
Suzanne ~ Love it that you wrote an epistle! Thank you for words so full of blessing. Hugs 🙂
Brenda, sending a hug to you–such a precious heart and story to share with us. And Tom’s soooo right…that part about “Just watch and see…” There’s so much power, grace, unconditional love in this video and in this post.
Emma, I love you.
Honored to be a friend.
With anticipation,
Julie
Jewles…thank you for everything. Love u
I just “found ” your blog a few weeks ago and I just love it. I have done some of the same things you have with work and children. I am also happy to find a bog that is a person that has God as her center,likes the same things I do and we even do some of the same things. I will pray for you and your family. It is so hard sometimes when we don’t follow God’s plan but we are called to love people so of course you should stand with your daughter .
Jennifer, thank you for commenting today and leaving me with some sweet encouragement…
xoxo
I once read when children are little they are a handful – when our children are older they are a heartful. We just love our children and I know we hate to see them hurt. Praying for you and so happy I found your blog. Thanks for being open with your thoughts-may you bless others as ou share.
I am pretty new here but I can tell your heart is huge what a blessing to your daughter, in my prayers!
.-= pamela ponder´s last blog ..WORDLESS WEDNESDAY ~ OUR CAKE =-.
Pamela, thank you for your prayers for Emma. xoxo
Robin, I have felt you had something wrong but never being around your family often. I didn’t feel I should come out and ask. Since FB I have grown to love you and Debra and the families I feel as if we have been connected all these years. I have a great granddaughter that is 7 years old and her mother never married the father.We have loved her and today is not like it was back in my day. People don’t judge the mother or the family and that is the way it should be. You have such a good heart and you are a great mother and grandmother. This baby will be blessed. I am prayer for you and Emma. God takes care of all the little children .
Linda, thank you for sharing the story of you great granddaughter. And I’m so glad we’re able to connect on FB. Love to you and yours…
I know what courage this had to have taken! I am wondering Robin what you would have to say about your God whisper of friendship? Because what I see here is a beautiful testimony to the support and love of the community of friends you have drawn to yourself through your big and authentic heart.
I think Emma’s comment speaks volumes about Mike and yourself as kind and loving parents who will walk this new journey with her. So honored to be walking along as well. Love and blessings to you!
.-= Vicky´s last blog ..From snow angels to Squirt champions. =-.
Sweet Vicky…I don’t know if it was courage, but I was awake at 2 hyperventilating 🙂
And yes! The whisper of friendship…I’ve been tucking away so many things in my heart over the past few weeks. I’m awe-struck by the tender caring of the online community.
Thank you for all your support when I needed it most. love u
No judgment just warm love and encouragement. I know this was a shock but you and your family have a blessing coming. It is so hard when our children choose paths we aren’t sure of but being there for them always…well it’s what a parent does. You have a loving and hugging heart. So glad I’m a follower of your blog. Your openness in sharing this has given me a lift today. I will try to be more open in my own life.
.-= Linda´s last blog ..TEXAS =-.
Linda, thank you for the encouragement. It’s needed and I’m keeping it tucked away to pull out and look at on another day…love to you …
Robin, being a parent and grandparent is never easy. I remember my parents saying that, but I had no idea how true it was until I became a parent and then grandparent! My daughters are 38 and 40 and I still worry about the choices they make. I don’t always agree with them, but I will always support them because I am not in their shoes and I remember many times when my parents, especially my dad, didn’t agree with my choices, but I went ahead with what I thought was right. I’ve been married almost 44 years and I feel that those choices that I have made have been pretty good. I am watching an 8 year old, a 7 year old and a 6 year old starting to make choices and it is with great interest! Our families need our unconditional support and love and I know you will continue to give that to your daughter. God bless you and your family!
Judy…it truly doesn’t matter how old your children are does it? They are your heart at any age. And truly unconditional love is so important. Thank you for the encouragement.
xoxo
I’ve been there and done this with my daughter, when she was only 18. It’s a difficult path, to say the least, but God can use it to bless your entire Family. I know it was a life-changing experience for me. No judgment from this corner. (And, yes, that was the first lesson I learned – very humbling indeed.)
Keep your heart and arms open. They will be filled.
.-= jane carter´s last blog ..Little Bottle of JOY!!! =-.
Jane…thank you for sharing w/ me about your daughter. You are always so loving, I would welcome any advice you’d like to pass along…hugs
You are an amazing woman, and your mom would be so proud of you! I’m so proud of you. Its times of stress that we see who we really are! You are so genuine, transparent and loyal. So gracious, and willing to open your heart and your life, so God could use you in the lives of so many others. It makes me think of all those Christmas letters I get from people who talk about all the acheivements of their children, but leave out the things in their life that God used to bring them closer to him. The things that humble us as parents, that remind us that its not our efforts that make them succeed or fail in the worlds eyes it is only His grace, and His plan. Pride is such a suttle thing and hits us in so many areas where we least expect it. Somehow as a Mom we think everything our children do is a reflection of how WE taught them or didn’t teach them, it doesn’t matter how old they are! It took me so long to figure out how arogant this is. To be honest I was really surprised my kids did not fit into the little mold I had in my mind for them, but God has a much bigger plan. And I hope I can learn to be as supportive of each of them as you are to your children, not just on the outside but all the way to my heart! Emma is a precious girl and will be a great Mom…how could she not with such a great example. I love you Robin
Auntie Gail…I love you too and you know better than most that it takes me some serious folding-up time before I can get perspective on things.
Letting go all the while loving and supporting is nothing short of miraculous. And I’m so thankful God’s definition of success is different than mine…
Love your insight. It’s always welcome and always needed. I love you to the moon.
Life is a lot less complicated when they are little and you can kiss their owies make things all better….I pray right now for God’s peace, comfort, and wisdom for you and your daughter.
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Even when I’m old and gray… =-.
Elizabeth~oh girl, life is soooo much simpler when they’re tiny. Thank you bunches for your prayer…xoxo
1) Nothing is more hurtful to children, whatever age they are, than to realize that they were unwanted by their parent or parents… and believe me, even a child born “the right way” can be unwanted. This baby may be unplanned, but I believe with all my heart that he or she will *never* be unwanted.
2) You can do this.
3) Emma, I don’t know if you read this or not, but I feel the urge to say something to you, perhaps because I’m a lot closer age-wise than I expect many readers here are (I’m a little older than you but not much). This is meant to be side-by-side encouragement, not Wise Counsel from above, and you should feel free to disregard it if it isn’t helpful (I’m sure you’ve heard it all already)! I want to honor the fact that you may be hurting very much over what’s happened, not only expecting the baby, but also being in a tough situation with your past relationships. I do not want to belittle any pain you might be feeling if that’s where you are. But even so, I want to encourage you to remember this part: it is all right and it will be all right. You haven’t ruined your life. You’ve only changed it. I pray that it never happens to you, but if *any* person ever looks at you in oh-so-righteous judgment, claims that you made a mistake and destroyed your future, or otherwise treats you with anything less than the respect that you deserve as an unconditionally loved daughter of God… kick ’em in the shins (well, probably a metaphorical equivalent) and walk away. Trust me, you have better things to do with your time than deal with that kind of nonsense, like live your life and love your beautiful child!
4) I’m a hugger, so insert hugs here. :o)
Beth…Sister-girl…those words are straight from God. Powerful…and yes, Emma reads this. She’ll see it.
But from me…thank you, thank you, thank you…
Hugs to you Robin – you are doing exactly what I would do – you are such a warm, generous wonderful person. I have never met you but these are the feelings conveyed to me through your lovely blog. Emma is one lucky gal to have you as her mom – I know all will work out.
Ann Marie…thank you. I needed that. xoxo
Hi Robin,
This is my first time on your blog. I love this song by Selah — one of my absolute favorites. I wanted to share a little personal experience of unplanned pregnancy. It happened to my brother, and while every story is yes, very different, the one thing that isn’t different is that God knows all that is going to happen and He still loves us the same. I know to some that may seem like such a cold thing to say, but I hope you receive it well.
We are all sinners and are going to make mistakes. The best part of all that is we always have the ability to turn things around. Praying for your family, and a BIG hug to you :]
xo,
Gussy
Gussy…thank you for commenting on your very first time here! I promise it’s not always so intense 🙂
And thank you for sharing about your brother, I do believe God knows what will happen. It’s such a comfort to know…
He’s not surprised.
xoxo
I want to thank you, Robin. If you hoped to inspire just one person ( and I’m sure there are many more), you have…me. Your words were exactly what I needed to hear, today. Although my issues may not be the same, they still involve a child. So from one Not-so-perfect-life to another…we can just pray that we can Let go and let God! Blessings to you and your family and the precious little one!
Ann…hugging you and praying w/ you today…for God to bless you and yours w/ peace and direction and joy in this journey…love to u
Just saw Emma’s comments. I’m crying again. It’s a good cry.
Julie…I’m just blubbering my way through these comments. They are like medicine to my heart.
i find it very interesting that God was preparing your heart even last year for this journey you find yourself on today. it took major guts to share this with the world, and i applaud your transparency and vulnerability. God shines through your life, and it’s when the cracks are bigger that His light is brighter.
there is a hymn that has been bouncing around in my brain the last few days, and i love the encouraging truth in it. may it resound like “unredeemed” does…that’s a great song too.
love your heart…wonder what this experience will teach you about friendship this year? remember, He wastes NOTHING.
1. He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
2. When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
3. Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
4. His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
.-= jenn´s last blog ..Blame it on my Pants =-.
Jenn…oh thank you Sweetie. I just printed out the hymn. How perfect it fits for this journey.
I just paused and let the truth sink in that indeed God was preparing my heart last year for where I am today…oh my. It’s true and it gives me so much hope when I follow that line of thinking…He’s already planned for tomorrow.
xoxo
(I’ve so much to process w/ the friendship theme…)
No judging here, Robin. We’ve had three unplanned pregnancies in our extended family. The oldest baby is grown now. He’s a wonderful Christian husband and father and a law enforcement officer in our community. I can’t imagine him not being in our lives; he’s been a blessing, and he’s literally saved people’s lives. The most recent unplanned addition is due next month. One thing our family has learned is that while we humans make mistakes, God does not. He forgives sin, and He loves unwed mothers through the words and actions of their families and other supportive friends. Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work for good for those who love God. Emma’s unplanned pregnancy is no exception. What a lucky young woman she is to have a supportive Christian family. I will add my prayers to yours, asking our Heavenly Father to keep Emma, the baby, and all of you in His loving care.
Thank you, Robin, for trusting your online friends to help support you!
.-= Jean Fischer´s last blog ..Book Sneeze Review — Nelson’s Complete Book of Bible Maps & Charts, Third Edition =-.
Jean! Thank you so much for sharing this! Oh you’ve no idea how encouraged I feel right now. Your family sounds wonderful. And I hadn’t given any thought to God loving unwed moms through the words and actions of their families and friends…wow.
I’m so blessed to have started a friendship w/ you Jean…for such a time as this…hugs
I’m blessed to have you as my cyber friend, too, Robin. Prayers and hugs coming your way 🙂
.-= Jean Fischer´s last blog ..Book Sneeze Review — Nelson’s Complete Book of Bible Maps & Charts, Third Edition =-.
robin… still praying for you and all parties involved. my heart breaks for you, praying for your peace.
.-= brandiandboys´s last blog ..Mini Spa Night =-.
Brandi…so thankful for you. love xoxo
i’m sorry i surly don’t mean to step on anyones toes or hurt anyones feeling’s , but my heart is far from broken ! Praise GOD you have a healthy daughter and family , and a new member on the way , yes as i said before the planning / timing isn’t the best But, theres no looking back now .. my heart breaks for my sisters in CHRIST and friends that have lost their children in the war , to drugs , to car accidents, etc. a broken heart for your young not married beautiful daughter who happens to be expecting a baby , nope not feeling it . I feel every single life is created for a purpose ,i’m not saying God planned her pregnancy , i am however saying HE knows that baby because HE created him/her, BleSSinG’s Always save the heartbreak for something the brings saddness & sorrow , Love you robbie roo and emma too ~~ xoxoxo
When I think about how many times I’ve messed up in 51 years, and God never lectured me or turned me away…well way too many to count. Bless you for being Christ’s hands and heart extended to your sweet daughter. Congrats on a new grandbaby!!!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..The Hospitable Book Club =-.
Lisa, what a wonderful thought: “Christ’s hands and heart extended…”
I love that and can feel such hope and motivation in your words.
xoxo
You are an amazing mom and woman- it’s evident throughout each piece you write on this blog. I will be praying for you, your hubby, Emma and her precious baby. Sending you lots of great, big hugs!
.-= Vanessa´s last blog ..Transportation Station, Part 2 =-.
Vane, thank you Sweetie for you kind words and your prayers…love to you
Robin, I haven’t read the other comments but want to say, first: please give yourself and Emma a BIIIIIG hug from me. I, too was unmarried when I got pregnant 42 years ago and did NOT get support or love from my Mother or sister so I THANK YOU and MIKE for loving and supporting Emma through this. I was with my Joe however but we had only been together for 6 months! But we wanted to get married and we did, again without any love from others. Here we are almost 43 years later. Emma has a hard road ahead but with you and Mike next to her she will be fine and the new baby will be ANOTHER beautiful gift from God!!!!! I am happy for you. I know this is hard right now but when you see that child all will be right with the world. LOVE, LOVE, Love, Pinky
Oh Pinky!!!!
Thank you for sharing your precious journey. You have so encouraged me…truly more than you know.
Hugs and you know I love you…
What a beautiful and precious blog you have written. Once our children are grown, our control is gone. The only thing left is giving them up to our Lord. I know that feeling of being completely heartbroken by choices a child makes. I will tell you after some time, the pain lessens. I will pray for you and your family, and you are so brave for sharing your heart. Thank you
sweet sweet robin
so glad you have shared here…as i am sure so many of your readers are… you are so loved by so many.
once again your post spoke to me.
wow, so powerful. sigh…
i don’t want to go on and on… but my younger son made a very big mistake with his life last spring. it truly was my worst nightmare happening. i honestly thought i could not go on. at times i felt empty. i wondered how i would continue loving my son. he put us through 2 1/2 years of turmoil. but at the same time he was struggling thru his own unimaginable turmoil. so much pain.
when i felt like i could not go on, my well just kept refilling, thanks to GOD. he seemed to be in complete control of our situation. i believe he was in control, even thru the disaster. i have never experienced anything more difficult. even sharing this makes my stomach turn and my heart race.
that mistake was the BEST thing that could have happened to our son. if he had continued on in the direction he was headed i believe he would not be with us today. honestly. after it all happened and i could look back at it… i could see that God was steering the ship in a most elaborate of ways.
i have to second you on the judging…… that is sooo major. who are we to judge?
i’ve babbled on. but robin i am sending love and support to all. that baby will be a blessing beyond belief to you and yours…..
your kindred spirit…. 🙂 kim?
.-= Kim Klassen´s last blog .. =-.
Kim…seriously, we share so many similarities. I’m so thankful our paths crossed. I’m just amazed w/ your story, full of such hope in spite of the pain.
I love that you can see that God was steering the ship in a most elaborate way…I’m ever amazed by God’s plans and the way He accomplishes them .
Thank you a million times over for telling your story. I’d love to give you a hug my kindred spirit…xoxo
(It’s almost time for Hubby to come home isn’t it !!!)
oh sweet robin….. sending hugs to you…. and trusting all will be okay.
it was truly amazing how God used even the most unlikely person, the person who really pulled my son down with him… the person i knew was trouble…from the moment he came into our life… anyhow, because of that kid…
what happened, happened…and my son was saved from himself. and no one was hurt.
there were major consequences that my son is still dealing with….but our boy was stopped in his tracks.
we live in a tiny town. so it was pretty hard to hold our head up. wow, very difficult and many people were judgemental, many didn’t know what to say, so they said NOTHING… and many people disappointed me. 🙁
prairie girl was one of very few that contacted me right after the “event” offering kindness and support. that was when we reconnected… it was quite a miracle actually … and as i type this i have tears thinking about her reaching out. wow…so powerful.
and her twins have grown up with my son… anyhow, they were really 2 of only a few kids that would even talk to himnafter this happened. and i know it was because they were raised to be kind and forgiving… like their mamma….
i vowed to myself that if i knew someone was hurting i would definitely want them to know i am here…no matter how awkward.
i do believe there was a reason for every single part of what happened over those 2 1/2 years. and because of that, it’s all okay.
i dont’ mean to go on…but the hurt i felt every day… the pain inside me was so great. there is nothing more devestating then watching your child struggle and not being able to do a thing about it.
okay, enough already.
i just so know you are all going to be fine.. your new baby will be loved and cherished. a gift… sigh…
my hubbies back on tuesday. i do miss him, but i find i am getting so much more done. it’s good to have a break i think… plus we skype 2 or 3 times a day anyway… haha.. it’s like he’s right here.. kinda cool.
.-= Kim Klassen´s last blog .. =-.
Kim…I don’t know if you understand the power of your story, but truly there’s life and hope and courage in your journey that has seeped into me somehow.
I suspect you’ll be sharing this a lot in the future to other moms who are walking w/ their precious children on unexpected paths. Only a mother who has felt helpless as she watched her child struggle knows those feelings. One mother’s heart reaching out to another mother’s heart…that’s so needed. I think God brought your delightful, creative, loving self into my little world . I’m so very thankful.
I knew there was something deep between you and PG. She seems such a gentle spirit. I can see her lovingly walking beside you through that dark time.
What a difference love makes…
I feel infused with courage this morning. Yes, what a difference love makes.
xoxo
Ok, I will have to come back and read more as I have to run for now…but the big question I have had all day, did you really shatter that beautiful plate for that photo?
Sorry, had to do that. I am amazed at how your honesty and courage to be real with everyone touches us so deeply. True life, True love.Thanks again!
Tom 🙂
I have loads of broken china. My girls used to clean the house and there was always a causality! I save it because it’s still so beautiful to me.
True life isn’t for the faint of heart is it Tom!?!?!
I sat here and read this and tears swelled in my heart, I too was a young mother who found myself following one way instead of the intentional one I had set on… I had my daughter 2 weeks after I turned 18 while a Senior in highschool and I remember how tough it was with the talks, jeers and fingers being pointed at me… my mom was so distraught at the time because she like you thought I was heading on different path than that I was truly on…. she sent me and my then boyfriend (now my husband) to live with my brother in another state… it was hard feeling rejected like I did but God does wonderful things… mom brought us back home I finished my highschool year … in school with good grades… having our daughter changed my life… I always wanted children but didnt anticipate that early, it is the price we pay when we go against the Lords plan, and its true He gives Grace when we repent and turn back to Him… My babies father and I married and it hasnt been easy but again GRACE and the LORDS Love is helping us and we recently celebrated our 13th anniversary…
Now I do not know what plans the Lord has for your daughter but I know He restores that which the locusts have eaten, just keep faith even when others will judge but ya know what they do not know your daughters heart and the will Christ will now have for her… Blessings to you and all ladies who endure the trials of life like this…
.-= Jeannie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Daffy Daffodils =-.
Oh my goodness Jeannie…I’m so humbled that you shared your journey. It is giving me so much hope for Emma’s future. And you confirm what so many others have said about me and my role … love and support.
Thank you Sweetie for sharing You leave me encouraged~
xoxo
Congrats on the impending birth and much happiness to you and your family.
Carmie…thank you sweetie. Hugs~
hugs and prayers go along way! Thank you for sharing the video!
.-= Hopeful Housewife´s last blog ..A little piece of inspiration heaven =-.
Hopeful Housewife…hugs and prayers do go a long way…thank you…
i might love you just a little. 🙂 hugging you from here.
.-= gitz´s last blog ..Gitz Bits 2010: Week 9 =-.
Gitz…to the moon and back sweet girl.
Robin,
I do not know you very well. However, I wanted to tell you I am a 41 year old wife and mom. I had my first child when I was 18. My parents were absolutely devastated when I told them I was pregnant. We looked into giving the baby up for adoption and all kinds of stuff ensued. (I was from Atlanta and got sent to NJ for instance:) But, my parents always stood behind me. When my son was born, I was set to give him up for adoption. However, when i looked at him, I just could not go through with it. My Father actually said, “well, he has the Quinn nose, so i guess he’d better come home with us”:) We never looked back. It was a rocky start but I finished college, etc…and my son is now 23 and the most amazing person I have ever met. Truly a miracle. I cannot imagine not having him! All things work together for good for those who love the Lord
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Giveaway Winners! =-.
Oh Heather…thank you for sharing your story. I’m crying as I read what you sweet dad said…
“he has the Quinn nose, so I guess he’d better come home with us…” so much heart and emotion in that one little phrase.
I am so encouraged by your own journey and I know Emma will be…
love to you Friend.
Thanks for sharing this with your blog family. I am praying for your daughter and also you and your husband. I know this is hard, but your daughter will do what is right for her and what God leads her to do. Don’t worry about what others think. They have not walked in your daughter’s shoes. If they judge, they are not the friends that you want in the first place. Love & blessings from NC!
Melinda…thank you for those words. After reading so much encouragement… I have courage I didn’t have before…
xoxo Friend….
My prayers for your family and especially Em. My best friend is going through the exact same thing right now. I found out about it last night. The difference…he could possibly be the father of this girl’s babe. My heart breaks seeing the ones I love prepare for a new world ahead of them that they had not prepared to face. My prayer for him and for Em is to know that God placed these precious babes in these lives of our loved ones for a reason we do not know about. It was not a surprise to Him. I pray for peace and comfort for you as you all move through the months ahead.
Love you, sweet friend. Many many tight hugs!
.-= Tippa´s last blog ..Snow!!! =-.
Tippa, prayers for your friend…I love what you said Tippa… God”is not surprised…”
Love to you and Maxie…
Just reading your blog today. I have been in shoes similar to yours, with our son, a few years ago. Not quite the same situation, but similar . I totally understand about the ‘ judge not ‘ part. Praying for you , your daughter and your family today . HUGS , Joanne xoxo
Wow, ok first of all Robin I am reading this and all I can think about is that if it weren’t on your page it definitely would be my story. This was (IS) my life. Our daughter too came home after an on again off again relationship with a guy that we really never knew after a break up with a guy she had dated for 2 years. She did not take the break up well, he broke up with her because she wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. This is where this individual came in and was able to make her feel loved and eventually gained her trust/confidence. He was a supervisor or more of an acquaintance that she worked with and made his way into her heart thru a very difficult time in her life. I know it takes two, blah blah blah but he really did take advantage of the situation, etc.
I was devastated. I know it isn’t my life but she was so young, young for me that is only being 21. Yes I know an adult but a so very young adult with so much ahead of her. She was in college, working and appeared to have the world in her hand.
People have judged us and I know that I have judged myself because we didn’t raise to not think of the consequences of her actions. The fact that she was a virgin didn’t help either. I have always said “judge not lest ye be judged” and have lived my life like that but not everyone does. Amazing how people think of you as “loose” etc. when they see this young thing with a tiny baby in her arms. I didn’t take parenting lightly. I talked to her about abstinence first and foremost then of course of birth control not only to prevent an unwanted pregnancy but also with regard to the STD’s. She realizes now how lucky (with all the circumstances) she is that she isn’t dealing with an STD on top of everything.
She delivered a little tiny baby 10 weeks early weighing in at 3 lbs. 12 oz. My daughter had become very sick with HELLP in addition to pre-eclampsia. The stress put on by this individual trying to force her to move to his state away from us was just way too much for her to bear resulting in her to deliver early. After nearly a week in the hospital watching the monitors and waiting, praying, that they would both be ok Ms. Isabella was born. She’s 21 months now and strapping 28 lb. little girl full of piss and vinegar as they use to say.
To make matters worse she discovered only 2 months after the baby was born that he was on trial for rape. Needless to say, he did go to jail but only for 6 months as he turned evidence on the other two guys that were involved in the rape of this girl who got drunk at a party.
My daughter thank goodness was in counseling at the time that she found this all out as she felt so disgusted with herself and her situation. Ever since then my daughter has been looking over her shoulder praying that he won’t take her to court to have contact with the baby. She feels dirty, sick of her decision and that she trusted someone like that.
My daughter is living her own personal nightmare every day of her life while she strives to finish college, work part time and be a mom.
YES they both do live with us. We didn’t turn our back on her, we have supported her thru this and will continue to do so. I know that not everyone will understand who are reading this. I’m working thru my own issues with it and have a very good “Nana” relationship with my granddaughter. My daughter and I are getting better with our relationship, we continue to work on it every day.
I know that there is a reason, there is a plan even though I really cannot see it. It is probably not meant for me to see or understand.
Part of my issue is after having our daughter my husband and I dealt with secondary infertility, one surgery and three miscarriages later we have remained without another child in our household for 23 years, until this little girl arrived. She fills the house with laughter, tears and screams.
We are all forever changed. Believe me I’ve come a long way in the past 21 months and there is still room to grow for me.
Okay my novel is done. My face is completely soaked with tears and strangely I feel a bit better. Don’t they say that confession is good for the soul? LOL 🙂
I’m working on finding peace with all of this myself. Thanks for listening. Praying for you and your daughter.
Big hugs to you from me! Teri
Teri, we are both crying now. Thank you for sharing this, I know it must have been hard. You are doing great as a mom and a grandma. So many yesterday shared their stories w/ me here and in private emails, they told of being 18-19-20 and pregnant and not receiving unconditional love from their parents during such a difficult time. All of them were at least in their 40’s and looking back still feeling hurt from that rejection. I am more certain than ever that moving forward with Emma and her baby is our calling. God redeems, even the worst circumstances. I am especially touched by the fact that you weren’t able to have any other children and this tiny girl is bringing you joy every day.
I CAN’T believe your daughter had HELP syndrome. My (other) daughter, Stephie had HELP and almost died. It was 1 year ago yesterday. Ellie was 6 weeks early and spent weeks in the NIC U, that was profoundly frightening. We truly have walked a similar journey.
love to you and thank you for sharing…I’m so touched and praying for you and your girls. xoxo
Robin, Thank you for sharing this. I too found myself in this position when I was 20 years old ( a long time ago). The love and support of my family at that time made all the difference in the world. Of course, they were shocked and upset at first, but then gave me just what I needed…love. I ended up having a miscarriage later on and if I had had to go through that all alone, I don’t know if I could of handled it. Thank goodness for loving families who can support their children through difficult times!
One of my favorite quotes is this: “A Baby is God’s way of saying the world should go on”.
.-= Eileen´s last blog ..Mosaic Monday – Flowers of Spring =-.
Eileen…Thank you for the encouragement to do the right thing.
What’s been reinforced the past few days with everyone’s precious stories…love is the right thing. Love wins.
I so love your quote.
hugs and love~
Hi Robin~ First of all, I want you to know that your blog IS a source of inspiration and hope for me. I’m 30 years old, have a husband I love dearly and 3 precious kiddos. I feel strongly about God’s plan of no sex before marriage. However…I too had my first baby when I was 18 and a senior in high school. We truly all make our own decisions and mistakes throughout life. We’re all sinners. I think that remembering my past situation helps me to stay humble and not judge others for whatever they may be going through. I was terrified to tell my parents at the time. I thought they would be so angry and disappointed. You know, I’m sure they WERE. But they supported me through it all, and I know that today our relationship is so much stronger because of what we went through together. It was real. I pray that I will always have the strength to support my children like my parents supported me…like you’re supporting your daughter. Hugs!
Marie…thank you for sharing your story. I am so encouraged by the fact that you want to be to your children what your parents were to you…
I’m also given such hope seeing your life has turned out so beautifully. Thank you for your gift of story and encouragement. xoxo
Wow Robin ,
This life is an amazing journey. To think last year at this time you had a different set of circumstances, but it was still about a daughter and a baby. You bless us so much by your transparency, your honesty, especially in such an open way. I treasure that because I tend to want to stay ‘private’. You allow your testimony to speak so gently and you live each day, minute by minute, hour by hour. I thought of you when I read the following from Oswald Chambers – you, Robin, are no ’empty pod’. Praying for you guys…special love to Emma.
My utmost for His highest, March11—
“I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision.” Acts 26:19
If we lose the vision, we alone are responsible, and the way we lose the vision is by spiritual leakage. If we do not run our belief about God into practical issues, it is all up with the vision God has given. The only way to be obedient to the heavenly vision is to give our utmost for God’s highest, and this can only be done by continually and resolutely recalling the vision. The test is the sixty seconds of every minute, and the sixty minutes of every hour, not our times of prayer and devotional meetings.
“Though it tarry, wait for it.” We cannot attain to a vision, we must live in the inspiration of it until it accomplishes itself. We get so practical that we forget the vision. At the beginning we saw it but did not wait for it; we rushed off into practical work, and when the vision was fulfilled, we did not see it. Waiting for the vision that tarries is the test of our loyalty to God. It is at the peril of our soul’s welfare that we get caught up in practical work and miss the fulfilment of the vision.
Watch God’s cyclones. The only way God sows His saints is by His whirlwind. Are you going to prove an empty pod? It will depend on whether or not you are actually living in the light of what you have seen. Let God fling you out, and do not go until He does. If you select your own spot, you will prove an empty pod. If God sows you, you will bring forth fruit.
It is essential to practise the walk of the feet in the light of the vision.
Madge,
Thank you Sweet Friend for your precious encouragement.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I read this from Oswald Chambers. Mike and I have been praying over God’s vision for us. I’m printing this out for him to see.
As you always do, you touch my heart Madge.
love love love
Sometimes the best things in life are unplanned. I’m glad you decided to post this. Being a grandma is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. You know that, you are one already! 😉 I know exactly how you feel except my daughter was 15 when she got pregnant. She is now 16, a sophomore, and a mom. And I’m a grandma which I didn’t think would happen for at least 10 years. I sure do love my granddaughter. She is the best! So congrats on the impending arrival of another grandbaby! 🙂
.-= Carmen´s last blog ..Moose Mousse =-.
Carmen…
Thank you for sharing your precious story. I feel so encouraged and hopeful thinking of your response of unconditional love.
Love to you and your sweet girls….xoxo
Hey Robin,
just stumbled into your blog through a heap of others and after having spent days going through blogs (for my work, I’m a journalist) can I just offer you a word of encouragement from the other end of the world.. I am also a christian, and I’ve just had a baby, one year old, am not married, but just engaged, and it was a bitter pill for my mother to swallow and also for me as a christian to meet up with friends I hadn’t seen for a while to admit I wasn’t married.. Can I just remind you of those immortal words ‘let him without sin cast the first stone..’ Can I beg you not to assume what your friends are thinking, most of them are possibly reminded of something they did themselves when they were younger or possibly something their own children did that they haven’t been brave enough to share with you. I think you are remarkably lucky your darling daughter has told you and will give you the chance to share this baby with you. You will possibly have a stronger relationship with this little baby than with dear Eliot because he or she will need much more support not being part of a conventional family. Can I tell you that my very fundamental grandmother who would probably have lectured me till the second coming if she had been alive, actually had my mother a scant 8 months after her wedding day (I finally figured the maths!) Every family has scandals, most of them remain a secret.. your daughter might have just snuck to a clinic and you would never have know. What a brave young woman she was to turn to you.. What an opportunity to witness to her and your community! Well done you! love and prayers from Australia, I wish you all the best, Penny
Penny…
Thank you to the moon and back for weighing in.
You are so right…so far there has been no judgment . None.
I love your perspective on Emma. Bravery. I hadn’t given that thought. You’re so right.
I’m so honored and humbled that you shared your story with me.
Thank you for your prayers ~ sending hugs to you and your precious tiny girl.
Prayers to you and your daughter. I’m glad you shared though because we have all gone through something like this or will go through it in our lives. And how exciting – a new grand baby! 🙂
Robin,
I just found this today, through your link on “Thoughts on Friendship”. I don’t know how I missed it before.
I’m going to say again girl, you have a gift. I love all your blogs but the ones that touch the heart are truly the best and could be published.
Tears, Tears, Tears.
Thanks for sharing your heart. It helps others in ways you’ll never know. I have a tractor story. But mine is more like a freight train that goes on and on and on and on. I haven’t been able to share it with many and I’ve only truly opened my heart to one dear friend. I wish I could be more open because being open with our heart allows God to minister to us through the hearts of others. I have been touched today by you and by those that responded to you. Thank you and may God continue to Bless your life with love and with words.
~Velvet
Robin,
I too have a daughter that is engaged and had our Granddaughter Emma (whom is amazing) at the tender age of 21.
I was so sad for what would not be, a life of learning before becoming a mommie. I even went so far as to tell her that she wasn’t ready she was still a baby,ok my baby. She wasn’t overly fond of young kids either so of course I was worried. But it is not in my time but the lords time. That was a hard one to swallow. We always need to be reminded of being humbled…
What I learned was that my worry was really for naught because my precious daughter is the most amazing momma ever!!! She is so in love with her baby girl and we are soooo very proud!!! People say “well mom what did you think would happen with you as a role model” that was touching.
( because secretly we wonder if we did a good enough job raising our children).
I am thankful my daughter did indeed do the right thing and brought our loving Emma to life without any regrets!!!! In hindsight we wouldn’t change a thing(like we could any ways right) but seriously we love our baby and her baby with all our hearts and Praise God every day for blessing us!!!!
Take care and remember God has great thing instore for you and your family!
Your new Solitary Friend!!!
Pamela
Robin- Vanessa sent me your way as 2 weeks ago we got the news that our 16-year-old son and his 19-year-old girlfriend are pregnant. Ugh, same thing a straight-A “on track”, 10th grader now with a different path ahead of him and us. It took me a little bit before I could blog it but now I have. You and I met at the blog party in 2008. You can bet I’ll be sticking around reading your blog.-Michelle
Michelle…I’m going to be praying for your son and his girlfriend and that precious baby…sigh.
I’m sending hugs and love …
Hey Girl,
Well, I found out I was able to get this at work. I’ve been reading and holding back tears reading your posts all morning. I loved the one where you said, “You aren’t going to say things you don’t know – but you know that God knows.” I love all the references to the book by Peter Wilson. I looked until I found more about Emma. I am praying for her health, for you, for joy in the midst of it all. If we can’t have that – then we won’t ever have it. I realized yesterday that my deepest motivation for my kid’s having a good relationship with God was so that I could feel good that “I was a good mother.” It was about me – not them knowing the One that loves them most. And that is a fear based motivation – I have so so so many fear based motivations – that not only don’t prevent – but often speed what I fear. So I got to explain to my kids why I wanted them to have close relationships because of the love God has for them….not because of my fears I have for them. I am praying for you and your beautiful beautiful beautiful love -filled family. That baby will be blessed. XXO I’m going to go read some more – I ‘m going through a relational situation that I’m’ not goint to explain here – in public – but your site is healing. your words are healing –
I am praying for all of you.
Just stumbled upon your blog and Emma’s story. Sounds so familier with my youngest sister. Her boyfriend (now engaged) were on again off again when she became preg. at the age of 24. I know my mother was devastated as was I. Two and half years later we couldn’t imagine life with out Dylan. I do believe most of our pain was for my sister and knowing how hard life was going to be, single mother and all. It is amazing that it has made her such a strong person now and I envy that. Happy Holidays