I haven’t written in a long time on “Friendship”, my “One Little Word” for the year. (I first wrote about it HERE and Ali Edwards, who coined the One Little Word Project explains it HERE)
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This year, I’ve learned a little bit about friendship, something at which I’m not very skilled.
A happy surprise was recognizing my friendships with those who aren’t ‘face-to-face’ friends.
The online community is real and loving and supportive. (I wrote about that HERE)
And my eyes have been opened to the beauty of reconnecting with old friends as far back as Middle School through social networks like Facebook… (wrote about that HERE)
But in the face to face friend department … well let’s just say this year has been a bit disorienting.
I pray about this all the time. The Husband and I talk about it at least every other week. I ask for answers…
“Why don’t I have any day-in-day-out face to face friends God? Is it my loner personality? Am I slightly anti-social? Do I not like people?”
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When I was processing the photo of my daughter Bethany’s beautiful chair it struck a nerve. Made me a little sad.
“That’s how I feel about my face to face friendships this year.” I told God.
“A little like I’m in a corner. In a time-out.
I mean Father, the chair is pretty and all but it’s still in a corner…”
And then like slide show in my mind, I started seeing faces. Precious faces…
The Husband… my soul mate and my truest friend.
My daughters…Bethany, Stephanie and Emma…as they’ve grown into young women, my love for them has blossomed. I’m so honored and blessed that they are my best friends.
Deb…my sister…a bond like no other. So often, she is the only person on the planet who knows exactly how I’m feeling. Deb and I are forever friends.
Julie…my friend for 34 years. We don’t live close so we don’t see each other much but we talk several times a week, we understand each other. I love her like a sister. She is, as Anne (of Green Gables) would say, my bosom friend.
And there were faces of other friends… our lives intersecting here and there over the years. The kind of no-pretense friends whose conversations go deep in 2 seconds.
“So”, (I think) The Father said. “You aren’t in friendship time-out, the chair may be in the corner Child, but you aren’t in it. Didn’t you notice…it’s empty?”
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I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and can I just say… this friendship journey continues to take sharp unexpected turns.
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I’ve been asking God if He wants to impress on me One Little Word for 2011…
But, for the record, I’m okay if He doesn’t!
xoxo
Great post Robin. Unlike you, I am a people magnet. I like being around people (reckon I better because of my profession). 🙂 But I have a problem: sometimes I talk and reveal too much. Sometimes I assume a familiarity that is not there. It gets me into trouble. So while I have become less open in some ways on the face-to-face, I have come to really appreciate my online friends-like you-and others. I like that they don’t expect anything from me and take me for what/who I am. I am glad to call you “friend” even though we have never met face to face. But tell you what! I can’t wait for the reunion. Love and hugs to you today.
.-= Bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..Pursuing Worship =-.
Bill, how many times have I told you thank you for being my friend…? I’m so blessed to have your love and support.
love to you…
Friend. You are are a good friend and think you first can stop telling yourself you are not. I can relate to your situation because I am similar in that I am perfectly happy being alone most times. Yes, I do need others but most times don’t feel I do The more time I spend with the men in my small group being honest and real the more friendships I have. I had to first realize I needed these friends and I had to become willing to show up. I pray you find what your are looking for in those face to face friendships. You and they will be most blessed!
.-= Tom Raines´s last blog ..Affirmation of God- I proclaim the praises of Him who called me out of the darkness =-.
Tom…I love hearing you spend time w/ men in your small group. Men, I think, have a harder time than women w/ friendships…well, not including me 🙂
love to you my friend
Robin, I could have written this post and the funny thing is, I may have made this same comment about another of your posts. We seem to have so much in common.
My family jokes that I have one friend, and it’s true. I may not have lots of friends, but for me it’s about quality not quantity.
If you lived closer, I believe we could be great friends. It seems we are going through similar experiences. It would be great to be able to hang out over coffee or tea and chat about the kids and precious grandchildren.
Autumn, I always feel some relief when I hear another woman is similar in personality. Makes me feel less alone. I sure wish we lived close…really I do.
I had a face-to-face friend that lived close by and this year that 19 yr. friendship is gone. Though it was a long time coming it’s been so hard. I’m hanging onto Jesus and believe when He’s ready He’ll bring me across someone’s path … if not that’s okay too.
I’m sending you a big hug my kindred friend…xo
Robin, without a doubt we are kindred spirits. Your metaphor of the chair touched me today. I have more I could say, but I’ll simply say, so glad you are my friend. My real friend, across the miles. xoxo
.-= Vicky´s last blog ..Welcome Home Grommesh family!! The Big Extreme Makeover Reveal! =-.
Vicky…I’m glad we’re friends to. You and Sara are always at the tip of consciousnesses. Across the miles your friend is loving you and saying prayers. xo
Oh Robin, I so wish we lived close, cause I think we could be real good face to face friends (even if I am WAAAY older than you)!!! I need to have friends but for some reason although I do have ALOT of friends I only have 1 or 2 REALLY close frinds that I can count on no matter WHAT. That is a true blessing from God and I think Him for it all the time. My husband is also my best friend and thank God I can tell him anything too. I hope you will find that ONE friend that you can go to. That is my wish for you today. XOXO, Pinky
Pinky…I wish we lived closer. You are one of the most fun people I know, face to face or not! love to you…xo
When I read this post Robin, it immediately made me think of myself! I do not have a lot of friends and the ones I do have, live on the east coast, while I am on the west. I have never been one who needs a lot of people around me. I am satisfied that I have my family and am thankful for the internet, where I can keep in touch with those who live far away.
But, that being said, I have at different times in my life, felt like you and wondered why I don’t have those “face to face” friends that so many others seem to have. Then I begin to realize that I do have them, even if we don’t meet “face to face”, I have “met” and have been richly blessed with friends through my blog and other places on the internet. These friends, we meet chat, pray or leave an uplifting comment to each other on almost a daily basis. And, what better friend can we have or be than that?
Hugs! Eileen
.-= Eileen´s last blog ..Mums Say Fall To Me =-.
Eileen…that is so encouraging. I’m so thankful for you in my life by the way..xo
Why do we count the no. of friends? you could have over 200 and not one of them remembers to tell you happy birthday or calls to see how you are doing. I have a few close friends that are more valuable than 200. Quality vs quantity, give me quality. Although, i don’t see my inter net friends, i consider them friends. Sharing the good and the bad in our lives as well as ideas becomes personal. have a good day. rose
.-= rose´s last blog ..IMAGINATION =-.
Rose you are so right. The number of friends isn’t important.
And I love the way you put it…”sharing the good and the bad in our lives as well as ideas becomes personal.” it does indeed. love to you…xo
Oh Robin, once again you speak my words. I am a friendly, cheery person with lots of aquaintances, a couple of old friends that I manage to keep in touch with a few times a year, but have just one dear friend, ‘my kindred spirit’ friend that I speak to every week. Maybe maintaining a friendship and nurturing one takes too much work, I’m not so sure, but I do know that I’m not great at it. At times it is a lonely feeling, but reading your blog, being invited to the most beautiful moments of your family’s life (birth of the cutie pie), well it feels as if you are a friend. I thank you!
Ann, I’m glad you’re my friend. And I think you and I may be very much alike. Love to you xo
Hi love…how this speaks to my heart, although I’ve thankfully not felt like I was in time out this year 🙂 . I, too, am a bit of an “real life” loner…kids, home and life all keep me on my toes. I think it means that you are learning to be okay with your space, yourself, quiet, and solitude as you grow in years and wisdom. This is NEVER a bad spot to find oneself in, is it? I am beyond thankful for finding you and the sweet gift of your friendship this year; it’s real, true, and honest, just like you. Love you, friend.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Take 5 =-.
Shannon…oh I couldn’t have imagined you were a loner! I just love you and yes…solitude and quiet are okay. You reminded me in fact that I thrive on them. I didn’t make me after all, God did. love love love you…xo
I treasure you, friend. I wish we were face to face friends, but I wouldn’t trade loving you from here for anything.
.-= gitz´s last blog ..How Do You Stay So Happy =-.
Gitz, you’ve been in my heart since the moment I met you. Mike tells me he’ll bring me to see you any time. Maybe 2011 will be the year. I love you to the moon and back Precious Girl…xo
What precious responses from your friends. And friends are friends, as far as I’m concerned, no matter how far away. Even if you’ve never face-to-face met.
When you said what the Lord whispered to you, “The chair may be in the corner, Child, but you aren’t in it. Didn’t you notice …it’s empty?” That’s when I felt the tears. So powerful, Robin.
That’s exactly what I needed to hear today. Sometimes I think I crawl up into that chair in the corner. But I sure don’t have to.
J…love you. ‘nough said.