Mother’s Day is coming.
As time drifts by that darn Sunday in May shadows the edge of my conciseness. Since my own mama left this world I’ve come to dread it. I try to ignore the dread, but as He tends to do with something I try to ignore, God keeps whispering. The other night He whispered loud and I listened…
I don’t always sleep, I’m kinda used to it. This particular night I took a “nap” from 9:00 to 12:30 before waking wide eyed. Making my way through the dark and very still house I thought I’d get online to check on my friends Vicky and Sara.
Some of you know them. Vicky, (Westra World) is my precious friend who’s been diagnosised with stage 4 breast cancer. She’s presently fighting like a girl to beat it. Sara (Gitzen Girl) is my bud who has more faith and wisdom than anyone on the planet. Vicky, Sara and I have a private group on facebook, (did you know you could do that?) We call it Our Couch because one day soon we are determined to snuggle on Sara’s couch and laugh and watch movies and talk about light and trivial things…
Anyhoo, there in the still of night I went straight to Our Couch to check on my girls. I wrote a short prayer for them and Sara who’s a night owl quickly wrote back…“I’m up too Robin, thinking and loving the two of you, I’ll do my best to pray you back to sleep.”
Sitting there, computer in my lap, I sobbed. (What on earth is the matter with me?) I’m not talking about a tiny tear running down a cheek. I’m talking about a big cry from deep down. I wrote back: Love notes in the night make me cry, I feel loved. She wrote: You are loved. So enormous was the impact of Sara’s words, I knew it was a God-moment.
I started to journal the question…what are you saying Lord? When out of the blue I thought of Mother’s Day and immediately ran from it, I’m not going there Father, I’m emotional enough.
Nurture… like a soft tap on my shoulder, the word begged my attention. “Nurture?” I whispered it, more as a question and felt a loving embrace.
That’s it isn’t it Father? The name of the deep pain. This aching need that, with Mom gone, will never be met in this life…to be nurtured.
I nurture you still little one…The thought bathed me in warmth. God nurturing me? Do I dare believe?
Faces of people I love came to mind, The Husband who loves me on so many levels, my little sister Deb and my Dad who daily reach out with encouragement and support, my life-long friend Julie always loving me in a thousand ways, my Aunt Gail who reminds me of my mom, Jenn who texts me encouragement at just the right moment and precious friends, like Sara and Vicky that I’ve met here online…
God knows my deepest needs and He provides.
I’m not dreading Mother’s Day any more. Instead I’m overflowing with thanks for God’s sweet provision.
And as I count gifts I add this one…
#532- All the Precious Ones God uses to nurture me…
Are you living on this side of eternity without your mom or feel that even though she’s still here, you’ve never been nurtured by by her? Ask God to show you ways He’s been nurturing you all along…