The Husband and I are ’empty-nesters’. Some of you don’t know, but the man married me with 3 little ones under 5! A little less than 12 months later, like magic or something, poof! Another little one came along! Point being, from the moment we were joined in holy matrimony we had almost no down-time. While we were raising a house full, we fiercely guarded our date nights every week. We always knew that as the kids grew up and moved out we’d have more time. Time to catch up. Time to talk things out. Time to plan.
Well, here we are and I’m gonna tell ya we certainly have more time but we don’t always use it to catch up, talk and plan. For one, we’ve less to catch up on. Less to talk about. And less to plan. But there’s another surprise in our empty nest…when we do have time to talk sometimes we still resort to the “business at hand”. Household topics like “have you changed the air conditioner filters lately?” “Did you pick up my dry cleaning?” That sort of thing. But recently we’ve discovered something really fun…
Weekend morning walks. For the past few weeks we’ve been taking Boo and Ollie, the boys in our bunch of pups, on a long walk early on Sunday morning. Something about that particular time during the weekend, not many cars out, the streets are empty and it seems like everyone is sleeping in. We get about 1/2 mile out and something just happens… we start talking. (And I don’t mean just me! The Husband talks too!) We talk about serious things, funny things, things that concern us, things we’ve forgotten to tell each other that happened last week. We talk about what we’re reading in our Bible study times and bounce questions and impressions around for awhile. Sometimes we take some time to pray for the kids and whatever they might be facing at the moment. It’s been really good. But quite a surprise.
The surprise is that we even need to take a walk to talk. We have such extended times these days that we could be talking, why would we need the down time of a long walk to catch up?
I’m beginning to see that it doesn’t matter how old you are or how many kids you have at home, relationships don’t simply maintain themselves. Careful attention has to be given to keeping your relationship with your significant other healthy. How do you manage your relationship? Any good ideas that may help me out!?!?!
And if you don’t have a significant other, how do you maintain your friendships? Love to each of you…and prayers, as we live our legacy one day at a time…
My hubby married me with two under 3 so I completely get what an amazing man is! 🙂 I have always chosen my hubby first. If we have a crazy day with our family of 6…. if I feel we need time to talk… honestly the kids get sent to their rooms or outside so we can have time to talk. Time to get on the same page. Always say sorry when you do something wrong or hurtful. Always say I love you no matter if you are just going to the store! These are some of my ways of keeping a great relationship with my hubby! He comes before my children… I love them all and would choose to die for my kids to have life. I also know that my hubby is what keeps us a happy family! 🙂 Much love friend! Great post!
.-= Chele´s last blog ..Bona Fide Link Love =-.
I’m always wondering what the transition to an empty nest may feel like. I can’t believe I am half way there already. I enjoy hearing about your journey. Such an endearing photo of the two of you… hand in hand 🙂
We are poor at scheduling things for ourselves. Dh will get calls all hours of the day or night for work and leaves on a moments notice. Last weekend, my mother came late Saturday, and in the absence of finding much to do that late at night, we opted for grocery shopping! But you are right, the conversation flowed and it was a refreshing change to be together without the kids.
Stay the course Robin, you are doing a fabulous job walking this journey!
.-= Vicky´s last blog ..Fargo Airsho =-.
Great post! Love the picture of y’all. Good idea to have it taken while walking. Really sets the tone for your story. 🙂
My husband and I have been married for 41 plus years and so we have been empty nesters for awhile. BUT, he retired one year ago this July and boy is that a whole new can of worms:):) Having him HERE, 24/7 takes alot of getting used to believe me! BUT, we do still take time to TALK. We go for day trips too sometimes, like yesterday: we went for a ride to Lancaster, Pa. did some shopping, had a nice lunch and came home. It was a wonderful day. But I loved that Chele said she keeps her husband FIRST. I think that is a BIG key! So many women, when they have kids, kinda put the husband (and the relationship aside, and that will not work! It is an honor to go with you on this journey, Robin! I always LOVE your posts. Love, Pinky
When I met my husband, I had three yr old twins….who would sign up for that?? He did and he has been an incredible stepfather…..we HAVE to have date nights to just get on the same page as each other and catch up! He has a very stressful job and I have found that he only talks about what he is feeling or “vents” if we go out to eat…otherwise he gets busy with his “tasks” around the house and so do I! Having been through a divorce, I see where you have to PREVENT divorce from happening…by doing things to stay connected to each other emotionally! It doesn’t matter how long you have been together…when you marry someone, you marry ALL the decisions that they are going to make because they will affect you—I always worry about people that say that divorce won’t happen to them…it can happen to any couple with one decision or choice that doesn’t have the other’s best interests at heart–I always try to remember that when we get so busy that time together seems impossible….my relationship with my husband is the most important human relationship I have–I always need to treat it that way and never take it for granted! ( I am preaching to myself here….)